Grenade on a rain drop

Grenade on a rain drop

A Poem by Abdul Aziz

Grenade on a rain drop.

Explodes in to fragments of water,

Drenching the curious hummingbird

Painting his plumage with aqueous nectar.

 

Molecules of air are splashed

With droplets of heaven,

Orchestrating a symphony

Of synchronized staccato collisions.

 

Time is arrested in midair tango

With rain's explosive subpoena.

As its fragments float down below

Landing like a seasoned ballerina.

 

Napalm from the grenade,

An aroma of amorous delight;

An afterthought arises from the land

Blessed by the visitors of the night.

© 2010 Abdul Aziz


Author's Note

Abdul Aziz
Napalm : Apocalypse Now, anyone?

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Featured Review

Vivid imagery, as per usual :) I like the opening lines, as it seems like such a curious phrase. For me, I personally associate grenades and explosions with the concepts of destruction. When compared to the rain, there is an incredible, almost oxymoronic consideration attached.
Rain can be everything from a gentle drizzle to a torrential downpour. When comparing a grenade to the sweeter side of rain, it seems like such a contrast: rain can be so cleansing and purifying, giving life, not ending it. But then there are hurricane rainstorms which wash out everything in sight, a true explosion of water exploding, claiming, and shaping the earth.
The image of the hummingbird seems to soften the rain-potential, I don’t see it cascading from the sky, but rather, I imagine those wide droplets splitting wherever it lands.
I really like the idea that the rain is a type of symphony. Many people buy those “Thunderstorm” CD’s, there’s something so enrapturing about the sound of the rain.
Again, you used splendid contrast in your third stanza. We’ve gone from an explosion to the landing of a ballerina. I also liked your use of the word ‘tango’ as well, to really drive the point home that the droplets are displaying some sort of natural dance.
I LOVED the line “An aroma of amorous delight”. You really touch on all the senses, the wet feeling of the hummingbird, the visuals from explosive to elegant, the sounds and the smell. I also love the idea of the smell acting as the earth’s way of an afterthought.
This is what I mean by what you see is pure, you see so much beauty in nature, it leaves me breathless.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

distinct way of thinking,
liked it.
keep up

Posted 2 Years Ago


Wow…
A grenade of beauty… of your lines splashed….
Against my heart ….
So beautiful….



Posted 9 Years Ago


Each of the lines brought to mind some exceptional images and when I think of them all in order it's as if someone has captured an exceeding beautiful moment in life.

I'll be reading this over for a while =)

Posted 9 Years Ago


This poem is an interesting analogy in and of itself. I genuinely like the piece... the imagery is quite enchanting. I'm not sure I can appreciate the amorous nature of Napalm, but everything else stirs my imagination. Nice job.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Vivid imagery, as per usual :) I like the opening lines, as it seems like such a curious phrase. For me, I personally associate grenades and explosions with the concepts of destruction. When compared to the rain, there is an incredible, almost oxymoronic consideration attached.
Rain can be everything from a gentle drizzle to a torrential downpour. When comparing a grenade to the sweeter side of rain, it seems like such a contrast: rain can be so cleansing and purifying, giving life, not ending it. But then there are hurricane rainstorms which wash out everything in sight, a true explosion of water exploding, claiming, and shaping the earth.
The image of the hummingbird seems to soften the rain-potential, I don’t see it cascading from the sky, but rather, I imagine those wide droplets splitting wherever it lands.
I really like the idea that the rain is a type of symphony. Many people buy those “Thunderstorm” CD’s, there’s something so enrapturing about the sound of the rain.
Again, you used splendid contrast in your third stanza. We’ve gone from an explosion to the landing of a ballerina. I also liked your use of the word ‘tango’ as well, to really drive the point home that the droplets are displaying some sort of natural dance.
I LOVED the line “An aroma of amorous delight”. You really touch on all the senses, the wet feeling of the hummingbird, the visuals from explosive to elegant, the sounds and the smell. I also love the idea of the smell acting as the earth’s way of an afterthought.
This is what I mean by what you see is pure, you see so much beauty in nature, it leaves me breathless.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Linking a grenade to rain is fitting though a little odd. You've done it justice, but I feel that at times the link is taken too far; maybe a little far-fetched as in,
"Napalm from the grenade,
An aroma of amorous delight;" - the word play is nice, but linking napalm, rain and amorous delight, did not come easy to me (and it's probably just me).

Well done.


Posted 9 Years Ago


"I love the smell of Napalm in the morning"

And I rather enjoyed this poem of yours with dark musical undertones. You describe an explosion of a single raindrop so beautifully.

Lovely work!

Posted 9 Years Ago


what delight to witness the flash of frames you paint with each stanza~ like holographic moments translated in molecular synergy~ the collision of an aspect of violence drawn through a most tender plume of descriptive tranquility is absolutely mesmerizing~ you blend the two facets flawlessly~

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Excellent use of words here!
Stunningly so!
This is played like a scene in a film it is that graphic, that is real talent my friend!
Brilliantly done!
xx

Posted 9 Years Ago


"Molecules of air are splashed
With droplets of heaven,
Orchestrating a symphony
Of synchronized staccato collisions." Were my favorite lines in this piece.
I'm completely in awe, because the more you write the more I want to read, even though it's been a little while since I've read your work your words remain as the sweetest honey on my lips and they still feel like velvet. Is there some special place that you go to when you write poems? Because the creation of works like this don't seem to happen on Earth any more. When I talk to you, you seem, normal, sweet like most guys I talk to, but when I read your work, I get captivated, addicted. I can honestly say to you that I have never in my entire life experienced writing like yours.
-Cathrine

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on July 23, 2010
Last Updated on July 23, 2010

Author

Abdul Aziz
Abdul Aziz

Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India



About
Hello there. I'm a medical doctor by profession, in search of a better career. Right now, my only pastime seems to be navigating around the vicissitudes of life. I'm passionate about computers and p.. more..

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