I Wished You The Most

I Wished You The Most

A Poem by Gamitsuki
"

This is a genuine poem written by me. It is about love......and its different faces......

"
When you thought I ignored you,
                            I cared about you the most.

When you thought I hated you,
                   I loved you the most.

When you felt loneliness around,
                                I stuck around you the most.

When you felt happiness around,
                    I enjoyed it the most.

When you talked with me even once,
                              I pounced around the most.

When you tried ignoring me,
                                  I circled around you the most.

When you talked with someone else,
                          I felt jealousy the most.

When you looked at someone else,
                                   I controlled myself the most.

When you showered the fire on me,
                               I cooled myself the most.

When you felt coldness around,
                             I warmed you the most.

Till the last I tried and wished,
                                     We both together the most.

© 2014 Gamitsuki


Author's Note

Gamitsuki
Expecting some opinions......

My Review

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Featured Review

That is how a one-sided love relationship is. One hates, the other loves and does everything to e noticed. Sadly, that is how love can turn out to be like. Heal, and forget. What else can you do? You think "He's definitely the one for me!" but of course, sometimes, it doesn't work out. Good job. And by the way, it's "stuck" not "stick"

Posted 7 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Gamitsuki

7 Years Ago

thanks for the correction....and your review......you told the truth......that's how a true relation.. read more
1Disawsum

7 Years Ago

no problem, great to read someone else's words.



Reviews

The poem is amazing. You described the emotion of need and life come alive and strong. I like the want and the accepted in the words. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

Posted 6 Years Ago


Gamitsuki

6 Years Ago

thank you so much for your kind words coyote.....i appreciate it very much....
Coyote Poetry

6 Years Ago

You are welcome.
amazing, i love the way you separated the lines like the first line was the person you loved and the second line was you. separated but still together. i love it! (also, unrequited love is painful).

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Gamitsuki

7 Years Ago

hope you enjoyed.......thnk u so much!!;-)
Its sad we care about our love without getting anything from return!!

lovely piece!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Gamitsuki

7 Years Ago

:-)........................:-)
The idea of this poem is amazing. GREAT JOB!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Gamitsuki

7 Years Ago

thank you very much....!!!
very nice this is a perfectly expressed emotion if ive ever seen one

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Gamitsuki

7 Years Ago

thnks..........very much.....!!!! :-)
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CWP
The idea behind the poem was definitely a winning idea, everyone has had one in one way or another and your presentation of your view of it was unique -- for example: "When you talked with me even once | I pounced around the most."
My only issue is it becomes predictable after about the forth line, which may be a personal preference problem, however I imagine you could mix it up a bit. An example might be, instead of saying "When you looked at someone else | I controlled myself the most," something like "When you looked at someone else | I interfered the least."
Again, that may be my own preferences talking, it's your writing and you'll know what's best for it.
It's a great start, though! Thanks for writing!(:

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Gamitsuki

7 Years Ago

No, you're right.....i must have used some figurative language more.........and a more intense vocab.. read more
CWP

7 Years Ago

Glad to help
That is how a one-sided love relationship is. One hates, the other loves and does everything to e noticed. Sadly, that is how love can turn out to be like. Heal, and forget. What else can you do? You think "He's definitely the one for me!" but of course, sometimes, it doesn't work out. Good job. And by the way, it's "stuck" not "stick"

Posted 7 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Gamitsuki

7 Years Ago

thanks for the correction....and your review......you told the truth......that's how a true relation.. read more
1Disawsum

7 Years Ago

no problem, great to read someone else's words.

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7 Reviews
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Added on September 12, 2014
Last Updated on October 18, 2014
Tags: love, romantic, wish, together

Author

Gamitsuki
Gamitsuki

India



About
I am a boy who loves singing, poetry, athletics, writing, studying, etc. I like to make friends and sometimes I over-do it. I love my mother very very much. When I was small, I had got a neck disab.. more..

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