I cried

My first poem with rhyme, I thought of it while trying to get to sleep and wrote it down :)

You left,

Me there,

Alone,

I cried.

 

The things,

I felt,

Inside,

Have died.

 

I think,

Of all,

The times,

We had.

 

But hey,

It does,

Not make,

Me sad.

 

The tears,

Have gone,

I will,

Come through.

 

For I,

Can do,

Much better,

Than you.

Author's Note

Please tell me what you think about the rhyming, as I've never done it before :)

Reviews

[Patient Poet (Yos)]

I think its really sweet :) ... tears is a motive that come back in your writting ... I love it Yossi

[*]

I love this! Brought a smile to my face! I guess because you show vulnerability with the loss of someone you loved and then you show your strength, "The tears,/Have gone,/I will,/Come through./For I,/Can do,/Much better,/Than you." The ending is amazing! Great poem! :)

[Forgotten]

This was very powerful and its something a lot of people can relate to, well done great write :)

[deeps]

Simply outstanding write, Love the rhyme scheme.

[D S Rollins]

The rhyming is on point, and it's like a little song in a way. Really nice.

[*Evelen*]

I liked this. It was very powerful and made me smile that you realized that you could do better. :] well done.

[Alphachad]

I don't know why this poem made me smile. Hey that rhymed.

Cute :D

[Gone]

The structure is interesting because each stanza could be written as a single line yet you chose not to do that. It has a delightful flow and an elegant simplicity. Great job. I like it.

[xx_strawberry_xx]

I really love the rhyming you did in this poem. It flows so nicely. I felt like i was reading it as a song...

[Arsenic Nemesis]

Really powerful with a great structure, I loved it. A very nice ryhming scheme going on here; I liked it. Nice job!~