The Speech

A newly announced Best Actor takes centrestage with his statuette.

Oh, thank you. Actually, I'm not sure if I want to thank anyone. 26 years in this industry, and it had to take the 27th for the jury to FINALLY decide that they wanted to award me with this thing? I know a lot of actors don't get anything, and I empathise. Wait, that's not really my problem. Anyway, I'm exhausted. You see these funny stretch lines around my neck? Craning. My daughter once said, "Dad, you are scaring James." James is my grandson. He wails when he sees a forklift truck. My son-in-law had to quit his job at the warehouse. My wife, well she's dead. I hope she's behaving herself up there, 'cause my parents are watching. Unlike many of my colleagues, I don't have an agent to thank, 'cause the one I had ran off to represent a 15 year-old teen pop sensation. I won't thank the director, the producers, the crew and the cast, 'cause I've no idea who they are. Me mind my own business. Actually, I suppose I could thank my fans, except that they spin too much. The only words I could gather from them are "whoo...whoo...whoo..." Anyway, I will put this next to my urn. Bye. (Exits)

Reviews

[TheCreativityItself]

Hahaha It's really funny.

Also It's sad because it took the people so long to let the man (?) know that thay appreciate his work.
I love the last sentence! Thank you for writing this

[Calypso]

You only wish an actor would be as creative.