lucky b******s

lucky b******s

A Poem by ace

Nothing in this world can stay
It all must one day fade
So I ask god while I pray
Please let it start today

Let my memories gather dust
The images cover with rust
Forget about the one I trust
And my weakness and lust

I cant bare to think any more
Of this pain that’s in store
Its simply to much to endure
Remembering what is nevermore

The dead have no memories….

Lucky b******s

© 2009 ace


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Featured Review

Haha, the end made me laugh,
"The dead have no memories...,
Lucky B******s"
And the rhyming, love the rhyming..if i could say one thing.
On the second stanza, last line:
"And my weakness and lust" Instead of saying that, I think you should have said:
"And my weakness as well as lust"
Rather than having two 'and's' right after one another.. O.o
I don't know.. I'm just observing. But the poem is amazing the way it is. xD

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Loved the end.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

very nice i like the dark stuff!:)

Posted 12 Years Ago


I like the dark humor. lol. There are a lot of lucky b******s in this world but the dead are all the ones we are jealous of the most... They will never again feel the pain and suffering of this dreadful world. Kuddos for the rhyming, I usually have to use a website to help me rhyme when it's by the stanza...

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The end was pretty good. I like the rhyming 4-line stanzas, it works for this poem, I know I cannot make a poem with 4 rhyming lines in a row! Good job.

But as I think on this poem, I wonder, What is the memory you wish to go away? Should I ask? Nevermind...
Anyway, great job.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love the end, tied the poem together.
I enjoy this poem, kindof leads to deeper meaning and deeper thoughts. The rhyming was good, except with the second stanza, last line, I would try
"My weakness and my lust"
That flows better, in my opinion, but I could just be me. I liked the repition of 'and' for some reason. Kindof ties it together somehow. Like, it made more sense reading it.
But this was a good poem :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Haha, the end made me laugh,
"The dead have no memories...,
Lucky B******s"
And the rhyming, love the rhyming..if i could say one thing.
On the second stanza, last line:
"And my weakness and lust" Instead of saying that, I think you should have said:
"And my weakness as well as lust"
Rather than having two 'and's' right after one another.. O.o
I don't know.. I'm just observing. But the poem is amazing the way it is. xD

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on November 19, 2009

Author

ace
ace

statesboro, GA



About
i have always believed everyone has a story to tell and i want to hear every single one of them more..

Writing
been awhile been awhile

A Poem by ace



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