funny concept.

short little poem.

these hands. they're ready to be held.

and this mind is ready to show.

release.

these eyes want to be looked into 

for an amount of time that would be 

awkward

under any other circumstance.

love.

its a rather funny concept

really.

but i'm ready to laugh. 

Author's Note

So it's just a doodle of a poem and kind of cheesy. But i'm in a kind of cheesy mood. Please critique :)

Reviews

[SonOfPlunder]

Not cheesy at all, a honest opinion of how you feel. Very nice

[Chris]

Why do so many define "cheesy" as reflective of deeply personal emotional caring and awareness during specific situations - as if it is such a heinous, terrible crime to have a heart and actually feel something?
And no, I wasn't being rhetorical...

Doodles are our way of multi-tasking within existence - as you apparently found out.

Wanting "more" in this way isn't avarice... it's being human.

Timeless isn't always about
fear and pain...
it's the promise of "forever"
- in a glance;
the warmth filling you inside
during a silly, innocent brush
of fingertips;
being awake - daydreaming with a smile
at midnight...

Timeless is the moment
I knew ...it was you.

Chris

[Delmar Cooper]

I like it and I think it is anything but cheesey. My pick of the litter for best line is the "awkward" line. I keep looking at that that one. Thanks for sharing this.
Cooper

[Amelia Pagliaro]

Thanks so much! I'll keep working on it.