Way to go.

A Story by Adalia

just venting. i haven't faced it until now. just talking about how i was cheated on and my feelings looking back on it.

You and I were invincible.

You were the greatest boyfriend. Always sweet and considerate; I thought you were perfect.

I saw glimpses of what I only see now. The arrogance to hide the pitiful self esteem issue and the evil that was really behind the sweetness. I let it go, because I only really saw the good.

Then, things got worse. Three months in. Three months in, I was concerned about her. The girl you looked at the same way you looked at me. It disgusted me.

                “Don’t worry, baby; it’ll never happen again” you said.
                “I love you and I’m sorry” you said.
                I believed you- and you made up for it in more ways than one.

I was so happy. I was euphoric. Put into such a state of delusion that I allowed it to happen. I did it because you “loved” me. I did it because I felt like it’d make our relationship stronger. Like those cliché girl stories; it was because I felt it’d make our relationship more adult, or more serious. I always regretted something after being with you. A feeling of disgust at myself more than anything.

So many times I wanted to end it. Then I thought “this next event will make it so much better”. Each time I was angry at you, or I was sick of you pushing me around at patronizing me, you turned it around and wrote me a sweet letter. Gave me extra kisses. Hugged me extra tight.

Then, the incident happened. Everything went downhill. I was put on medications, sent to therapy, and things were falling apart left and right. I was holding on to you because you were the only constant. The one thing I could count on to be consistent.

You were supposed to tell me everything was going to be okay. You were supposed to hold me and promise me that you would always be there.

So at my lowest point…when I had the worst self esteem… when I was on the edge. .. it happened. You cheated. You left me for the same girl I had problems with months ago. You promised me. You f*****g promised.

Way to go.