deserving

deserving

A Poem by Adalia
"

a small free-verse sortof poem

"
It was a summer night
and I thought of you
pills on my tongue
you hadn't a clue.

Another night,
a knife on my wrist
holding back so much
death was my wish

Then I moved on
from the silly antics
and decided to starve

some days I ate
because I thought I didn't deserve to be good looking
I didn't deserve to be skinny
it was the most bizarre feeling.

other days I was motivated
wishing to be pretty
decent looking
maybe,
eventually,
beautiful

I'm so torn
between living and dying
because I'll never be pretty
I'll never be talented


I'll never be worth it.

© 2011 Adalia


Author's Note

Adalia
kind of just getting thoughts out

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Reviews

A loooot of negativity. Too much for someone like you. :P
I like your use of font: bolding, minimizing and even shrinking to emphasize.
Although a sad thought, your portrayal of cutting and overdosing as "silly antics" is strong and shows how you compare raw depression to anorexia. The beginning of your last stanza, "I'm so torn between living and dying" says a lot. Almost like you don't want to continue to struggle with these feelings but you're hopeful for some sort of closure at the end of the road. Good job.

Posted 8 Years Ago



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Added on September 1, 2011
Last Updated on November 5, 2011
Tags: self help, anorexia, cutting, pills, suicide, death, self awareness

Author

Adalia
Adalia

About
i dig Palahniuk, Vonnegut, Burgess, Shakespeare, and Tolkien Marxist Spiritualist more..

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