DEAD

DEAD

A Poem by afra
"

I know this is a bit confusing but still tell me what you think

"

I am your wife

I am the person you called your life

But why are you ignoring me?

You are not that person who you used to be


You never listen to what I say

You just turn your back on me and walk away

Why are you ignoring my tears?

Now you don't even notice me living here


We are like two strangers living in a same home

I am living with the person I love, but I still feel alone

Every night I can hear you cry

Why aren't you talking to me?, please tell me why


You stare at my picture and cry

I have forgiven you, that's not a lie

But all my complaints were gone after what your friend said

"I am sorry to hear that your wife is dead "

© 2012 afra


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Featured Review

Now this is what I knew you were capable of Afra!!! You knocked this out of the park...Your ending to this poem would make M Nyte Shamalan (Mispelled probably) jealous!!!! From start to end you made this good, better, GREAT!!! I have read your efforts before and you have made good poems without even trying it seems...Now this is what happens when you let your talents off the leash, they go MAD!!! and make this....Close to perfection!!!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

afra

8 Years Ago

aawwwwwww thank you sooo much ...=)



Reviews

wow this is amazing! it starts good then gets better and better

Posted 7 Years Ago


I feel like you should find a synonym for the word "cry." It begins to feel a little repetitive by the second usage. But other than that, it's a decent piece.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Third stanza is very banal. People say that on TV or in therapy all the time.

Second stanza makes up for it by being brilliant.

Posted 8 Years Ago


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Ray
I didn't find it at all confusing ! The build up was just great to get to the fatal line " I am sorry to hear that your wife is dead". great use of the rhyme, i'll always admire that in you : finding rhymes in the good context ! do you know how good you are ??!!

Posted 8 Years Ago


this is so touching! not to mention heart-wrenching!
good job!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Wow, that's a beautiful poem, it's useless to point the technics here (too good) so let me get to the point, your poem is full of pathos that culminates in the spannung that in this case is represented by the last verse, it's curious the use of an element like that, usually linked to the narative kind of writings. Great job =D

Posted 8 Years Ago


A very sad poem. I believe most people forget to appreciate their number two. I like the honest and direct emotion in the poem. You gave me a surprise ending. We always appreciate what we don't have. Thank you for the outstanding poem.
Coyote

Posted 8 Years Ago


Loved the ending.
I don't usually 'get' poems but I thought this was great :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


That last line really knocked me for a loop! I felt almost cheated after investing my emotions in the build up. :-P Excellent concept and execution!

Posted 8 Years Ago


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.
Wow, This is very deep. I like it a lot.

-Cord

Posted 8 Years Ago



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66 Reviews
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Shelved in 5 Libraries
Added on July 8, 2012
Last Updated on July 8, 2012

Author

afra
afra

Toronto, Mississauga, Canada



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