The Day

The Day

A Poem by Alice In My Own Wonderland

I remember the day you killed me.
You held a gun to my head. 
You told me to be quiet.
You said it was the only way. 
I remember the day perfectly.
It is painted in my head.
It is tattooed to my brain.
I want to forget it.
But I can never forget anything you did. 
You can never forget your Father and all the things he did to you.  

© 2011 Alice In My Own Wonderland


Author's Note

Alice In My Own Wonderland
Confusing :/

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

This is my feeling towards religion and the "heavenly father". I read Paradise Lost, and in it the idea is formed that because God controls everything, he ultimately meant for the Fall to happen, and for humans to become sinners and have to die. So, since he meant for it ot happen, he killed us, and then left us to pay for the sin he always meant for us to commit.

Although this poem is simplistic in phrases, as all of your poetry is, this one is so full of metaphor and levels that it can be taken in many different ways. There are so many interpretations of it (most of them probably not at all what you intended) that it is pushed to the top tier of your poems. It could be about literal fathers, God, society, the general idea of a father. It could be about the killing of the spirit, the mind, inspiration, innocence. You say so little, leaving it up to interpretation, that in reality your words speak volumes. Very Hemingway-esque. Good write, my favorite by you by far.

And confusing is a good thing, at least in your poetry. It leaves it up to the reader to create their own meaning. I like that about this.

Posted 12 Years Ago


This would make a powerful story my friend.

Posted 12 Years Ago


i love it, it kind of reminds me of the novel im in the middle of writing.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Like the feel, I like the shock factor, the honesty bite to it. I like the flow, it's very natural, but can be amped if desired. Great write.

Matthew

Posted 12 Years Ago


Wow. Very dark. The part about being the father threw me for a loop. I was assume it was a bad boyfriend. But I like being thrown for loops, so good job.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Dark...so very dark but penned very very nicely.

Posted 12 Years Ago


This is really sad. I was reduced to tears upon reading the last line. Child abuse is an awful thing.

Posted 12 Years Ago


What I enjoyed most about this piece is that you don't get caught up in you adjectives or become excessively wordy. It is what it is and eloquent in it's simplicity. Good read :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


It has a very strong story to it.
It's really good and the way that you are speaking from beyond the grave is a great idea :D

Posted 12 Years Ago


A poem with a powerful and strong story. Somethings we can't forget. They scar our mind and heart. The poem description was direct and to the point. I like the very strong ending to a excellent poem. Thank you.
Coyote

Posted 12 Years Ago



First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

1071 Views
23 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on April 12, 2011
Last Updated on April 12, 2011

Author

Alice In My Own Wonderland
Alice In My Own Wonderland

In your brain. There is some weird stuff here...



About
dont like my poems? too bad. dont like me? well the block button is write over there next to the flag button. dont like my friends? suck it. dont like anything? die already. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Chocolate Eyes Chocolate Eyes

A Poem by Skoo.