Dysfunctional All

...i just want to know why, but it is too late...

 

 

Dysfunctional All

 

Why does it seem

After all the time

That has transpired,

You still haunt my presence?

With what has been

And in the past,

You still exist,

As if you were here…

The pain you caused,

Not just to me

But to my siblings,

As if we were nothing…

Did we mean that little to you?

Were we nothing but a namesake?

Something that you could say

Were yours alone…

Objects to abuse at your will?

Mother was no help,

Until it was too late,

The damage was done…

Now you are gone,

Too far to return the favor,

Left are we now,

Dysfunctional all,

Dealing with the past,

Trying to live for the future,

In a present that doesn’t understand.

Author's Note

it seems that sometimes, years later, you can learn something that wasn't common knowledge amongst your siblings and yourself....i had such a revelation when talking to mine and finding that you were not the only one that was abused....

Reviews

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This is such a different topic on which you have written Amanda...
These kind of problems are still present in our society and it makes me sad everytime I hear or read about them.
I never knew that you have also gone through this, this poem has showed us a different side of you...
Thanks a lot for sharing it here...
Great work,as always :)

[The Mad Prophet]

I haven't been abused, but I been through hell in my own sense. I heard many stories from foster kids of abuse and worse. I was separated from my mother, (She had me at age 15) and was raised by my grandparents (who ran foster care). In sort, I heard of a lot. You are not alone, trust me, but you are stronger now anyway. If you were not stronger you would not be here.

Very well written, and expressed poem.

[17thWhitePrince]

wow ... so sad ... you can sense all the pain as it seems to just rise from beneath the words ... so sorry to hear that you and your siblings had to endure such torment and abuse ... how horrible and aweful it must have been ... I'm glad you decided to write this down so that others may read it and support you in anyway possible ... 'cause things like that should never happen to anyone ...

Anyway ... I'm here if you need me :)

[Ralphy]

Its saddens to hear this Amanda, I know that times haven't been that kind to you in the past but to hear it spread to your siblings, brings tears to the surface. All anyone can do from any pain is to hold their head up high and walk away. I know sometimes it's difficult because you feel the shattering of the glass, but just the fact you can write about, and make coherent sense, means you have a firm grip on matters at hand. Nice write Amanda, and I hope you and your family will heal soon.

[Lalli]

damn amanda!

sorry for the delayed review. The short lines of this work in perfect confunction with the flow.
written from the heart
written with a questioning conviction, a pain that can never seem to completely fade away without coming back.

I definitely understand the situations of learning from the past (especially with siblings) of having the conversations to find out the truth of what happened to you, AND THEM... to finally understand a better learning.

sorry you went through such a crisis my dear...but you wouldn't be the amazing person you are today without it.

much love n' respect

-Lalli

[emmajoy]

Some people claim that time erodes pain, that history means nothing in people's lives.. your poem proves the opposite, absolutely and completely.

What happens in childhood can and often does stay forever; when our brains are fresh and new, learning and experiences embed themselves and they remain far, far longer and clearer than the ones experienced as we get older. And cos of that they influence our thinking and feelings.

Sorry, that was more my opinion than about your writing which is incredibly touching and tragic. What you've written has set thoughts in action and is so thought-provoking, believe me.

Maybe in a way, discovering that you all suffered this terrible abuse will allow you to all help each other. But, you truly need to talk it out.. write about it - as you have here and more, much more, if you possibly can. Courage, dear friend.

God forgive the people who should have protected you and did the opposite.

((((((((You))))))))

[LlamaLord]

Very touching topic. Abuse is such a terrible thing...and what's even more terrible is the fact that you had other siblings while you were going through it. You showed most of the key parts of abuse in this which I really learned from. Thanks for the read :)

-Austin

[Helen Woodward]

I am always saddened by this kind of evil and I am especially disgusted by mothers who let this go on. I hope you have support from your siblings Amanda as I'm sure they have support from you.
A sad and all too familiar story...
Blessssssss
Helen...

[Michael X]

wow amanda, in every way this is heartwrenching as well as heartbreaking, nobody deserves to be raised by wreched indivisuals whose only care is their own need, you've expressed this in sculpted form, and focus that really puts the reader in the authors shoes, its wonderful to see yourcharacter is stronger than ever
brilliant writing my friend, the powerful meaning cuts straight to the heart. amazing job

[Ron]

Dear Amanda, First of all absorb all the theraputic value of writing this piece that captures the rage, impotence, lack of revenge and justice. It is just great that now you can write about it and I am sure this will start a healing process. You have to deal with guity feelings of keeping secrets and others were therefore abused. What else could you have done in those days? Things are much different now. If the offender is dead one hope he screams in hell. If he is still alive do something about him! The greatest thing you have done is told others. Perhaps there are more who should know! His secret is out now and no one will hold cosy memories about him. Nor should they. If you are not believed by some. Believe me they really do believe you but dare not admit it. If they did, they would blow themselves up. Bravery! I am in awe of you. So proud of you. What a superb woman! Help others. Your writing is already doing so. They will need every word. The dysfunction will be repaired. You will bear the pain. Please write more on the following theme, for the sake of others still locked. How do your feelings change after you have disclosed. Guide others to disclose to the authorities perhaps. After all the next little girl and boy is as we write being lined up. Lots of Love. Ron