What Color?

What Color?

A Poem by Aidan

All yesterday
the sky was full of rain
the cold water filled us up
with a dull, aching pain

Today, once the same sun came out
You and I picked a rainbow from the sky
Slitted it open - gutted it - and drank
it's color dry

Our stomachs full of whirlwind and watercolor,
we toasted for two, drank to make the pain duller

We walked alone, hand in hand, awhile
'till we crossed paths with a harlot that spat fire
She smoked and sparked,
burning our time down to the last wire

and so we waited,
our wounds opening back up
praying for the rain to return with
our hands tightly cupped

When it finally came,
accompanied with the sound of thunder,
we were pulled under

At long last,  able to rest peacefully
side by side.




© 2015 Aidan


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Featured Review

Very lovely piece. Original imagery and a very smooth flow, despite the shortened lines. Not as easy to do as one might think. My only comment is a couple typos, although one of them might not be one at all.

"Today, once the same came out" Is this supposed to be 'sun came out?'

"out hands tightly cupped" I believe it's supposed to read 'our hands'

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Aidan

5 Years Ago

Thanks for review! I'm usually pretty good at catching typos, but every once in a while one gets thr.. read more



Reviews

Very lovely piece. Original imagery and a very smooth flow, despite the shortened lines. Not as easy to do as one might think. My only comment is a couple typos, although one of them might not be one at all.

"Today, once the same came out" Is this supposed to be 'sun came out?'

"out hands tightly cupped" I believe it's supposed to read 'our hands'

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Aidan

5 Years Ago

Thanks for review! I'm usually pretty good at catching typos, but every once in a while one gets thr.. read more

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Added on February 22, 2015
Last Updated on February 26, 2015
Tags: Writing, Poetry, Rain, Rainbows, Couples

Author

Aidan
Aidan

San Antonio , TX



About
English/Teaching Major that enjoys reading (and writing!) poetry, science fiction, and horror. Looking to keep a place where I can post writing and get some constructive feedback. Would love to hear y.. more..

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