The Blender..by Michael

The Blender..by Michael

A Story by Michael Reisman

Looking back, Steven remembered a favorite place he used to go to in his high school years. It was a small but cozy place that served breakfast and lunch which was about a ten minute drive from his parents house. The blender that made malteds of all flavors was what his what he always ordered. Steven watched the lady behind the counter pour the powder, then the syrup, then the scoops of ice cream. A perfect malted every time. She was about the same age as him back then, so it wasn't just the malted that attracted him to go back there. He wondered some fifteen years later if that place was still there. It certainly was as Steven drove the fifty miles to get there. Dorothy smiled at him as if time had never moved. "Vanilla malted and a grilled cheese sandwich"? She said with a smile. "Yes", he replied. They talked for the first time and held hands over the counter as nobody else was there. Love at second sight? Two years later they got married and on his birthday she bought him a special gift. It was silver in color and came with powder, syrup, and ice cream. Dorothy sat down at their kitchen table and asked Steven if she could fix him a vanilla malted and a grilled cheese sandwich. He smiled at her and then turned on the blender....

© 2015 Michael Reisman


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This needs to be cleaned up. Starting with the second sentence and the redundancy of the use of the word place along with the sort of boring details that could have been spiced up. Things like "it was a small cozy diner that held the slight chill of ice cream in the air..." or something that takes a reader from reading simple motion and puts them in the moment. Like this waitress that maid the malted, tell us about that smile. Maybe there is a gleam in her eyes or the way the light glinted off her hair, just something. It's also disorienting that the place is ten minutes and then fifty miles away. Those details should be rectified.

Posted 9 Years Ago


A lovely little vignette. Long may they live happily ever after. T

Posted 9 Years Ago


It sounds delicious.I with I could have a malt and a grilled cheese sandwish.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Michael Reisman

9 Years Ago

See you at the diner, my treat!

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184 Views
3 Reviews
Added on February 11, 2015
Last Updated on February 11, 2015

Author

Michael Reisman
Michael Reisman

Eastchester, NY



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My new website is My new website is michaelsbooksofshortstories.godaddysites.com My email address is [email protected] more..

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