Beyond the Bay (octain)

Beyond the Bay (octain)

A Poem by Christi Moon

















Beyond the Bay


on distant shore's agape sand

my vaulted grains of home untie

sing ageless tide’s hushed lullaby


day’s rippled rays of light command

life held before engraves the shore

brief crystal echoes in your hand


susurrus waves spill you and I

on distant shore's agape sand


C.S. Moon  June 16th, 2011

Poet’s note: Photograph of Morro Bay, California.

The carefree days of my innocence undeniably etched upon that shore.


The form:

Octain Specifics "

eight lines as two tercets and a couplet, eight syllables per line with the first line repeated (as much as possible) as the last. Meter is iambic or trochaic tetrameter, but fine to just count eight syllables per line for those who prefer that.

Rhyme scheme -


(A = repeated refrain line. c/c refers to line five having midline (internal) rhyme (eg. here/sneer), which is different to the a- and b-rhymes)

Octains are a form of poetry devised by Luke Prater



© 2011 Christi Moon

My Review

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Beautiful use of the form Christi. Melodic and lilting throughout with some choice language.. 'brief crystal echoes'...wonderful.

Posted 9 Years Ago

Great poem. Really interesting how the new form is put together. I may have to give it a go when I'm feeling more focussed.

Posted 10 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

thanks Luke. You are right about 'silken' I have changed that, but can't seem to edit the poem from work. As always, your feedback is very much appreciated.

Posted 10 Years Ago

susurrus waves spill you and I > lovely line Christi

'silken' unsure of though... fine Octain sister

Posted 10 Years Ago

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6 Reviews
Added on June 16, 2011
Last Updated on September 25, 2011
Tags: time, home, hush, octain, Morro Bay


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