Look before you leap!

A dimEric!

Look before you leap!

I once knew a rascal from Leeds

Who did some unspeakable deeds

I'll not be explicit

I can't say they're licit

But at least they satisfied needs

Note - no animals or children suffered in this limerick

I once met a girl from Tiree

she was rather attracted to me

but I had to change tack

when we got in the sack

and discovered that she was a he!

I'm beginning to think that I'm just

a brief step or two from being dust

it's time for some fun

'fore I pick up the gun

there might be some time left for lust

on Tiree I met a young fellow

I thought that he looked rather mellow

but I got quite a shock

when he started to talk

and she told me her name was Flo

I once knew a fellow from Troon

who used to drink beer from a spoon

but one thing he missed

was getting quite pissed

so I told him that he was a goon

I wish I could stop writing rhymes

I've attempted multiple times

but they keep slipping out

of that there's no doubt

f*** this, I'm off for lunch

woo hoo - freedom!

rhyming's a thing of the past

how long do you think it will la...

gee - that was a close one

I'm sure that you're very impressed

how my battle with rhyming's progressed

it's just like a drug

I feel such a mug

you can see that I just have regressed

Reviews

[Lisasview]

I once met a man from Spain
who made his request quite plain
I said bug off
so he left in a huff
and. thats when I jumped on the train

First time ever trying a limerick...so please bear with me..
Yours were so wonderful...and inspired me.
Lisa, now in Spain

[alanwgraham]

Thanks for your kind words Lisa. Limericks are fun and you can have a laugh in just a few lines.
read moreThanks for your kind words Lisa. Limericks are fun and you can have a laugh in just a few lines.
Take care,
Alan

[Delmar Cooper]

Finally found your limericks. The journey was pleasant because of all the stops.

[alanwgraham]

Apologies Delmar for not being more specific. Thanks for reading and your kind comments.
All the best,
Alan

[Cassie]

Yes I am very impressed and you have made my day. I am curious, when you met Troon and you called him goon, did he beat you up?

[alanwgraham]

Thanks for reading these Cassie. Its hard to explain but sometimes these rhymes just run round in my head.
All the best,
Alan

[Kringefest]

I couldn’t stop myself from cracking a smirk at every stanza. It was quite the read! Rhyming is indeed a guilty pleasure. Even my regular prose short stories rhyme here and there!

[alanwgraham]

Thanks. These are light relief from the real work!
Cheers.
Alan

[Laura Kate]

This is so much fun Alan, I really enjoyed it!

[NATO KRYVAVRY]

Relapse is usually a bad thing and you just made it a good one on that last stanza! Cheers to you on this one. And you're damn right, battle with rhyme or not, I'm "VERY IMPRESSED" by this work. Haha

[alanwgraham]

That's very kind of you NATO. It's nice to have fun with writing in between the serious stuff.
All the best.
Alab

[Mel]

Really have to say, been on and off this site for 3 years now, and your limericks are honestly the very best out of anything I've ever read on here. Thanks for that.

[alanwgraham]

That's very nice of you Mel. Thanks. These are really just a rest from more serious writing but it's good to laugh!
All the best.
Alan

[Lea Sheryn]

Delightful! I loved every word!

[alanwgraham]

Thanks Lea. These are just some light relief from the serious writing. I'm pleased to see youre a short story writer too. A treat to come!
Cheers.
Alan

[Lea Sheryn]

You're welcome, Alan. Everyone needs a little relief now and again.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Hahaha this read started of more lust and love and all that and winded up with u talkin about how you cant help but rhyme. It was a very humerous read, and it also flowed well. I relate because i also cant help but rhyme :) very well written

[alanwgraham]

Thanks Cimmy.
We are in the right place for rhyming. Actually my main thing is short stories but the rhymes burst out, of that there no doubt, now and again, words sound the same, the problem to stop, getting caught in the hop, the solution 's to find, a word that's kind, of unrhymableistic!
Cheers,
Alan

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

:) ur welcome