Address to the lasses

Address to the lasses

A Poem by alanwgraham
"

An address to the lasses I wrote for a recent Burn's supper

"

Address to the lasses                 

 

I’ve just been asked to mak’ this toast

O’ clever rhymes I canna boast

An’ if yer lugs just end up wincin’

Just gie them baith a bloody guid rinsin’

 

I’ve heard it say that men’s frae Mars

And women hail frae Venus

Whit tripe!  Women hae their hormones

And men have just hae their penis  

 

With a’ their mony foibles

They tak a lot of pleasin’

Don’t try to win an argument,

they’ve no recourse to reason

 

At times oor women drive us daft

Their logic only makes us laugh

We try to help, we keep on asking

‘you’re no bloody use at multi-tasking’

 

Her driving tests me to the edge

I mind that time we hit the hedge

But och, its maps that her confuse

enough to drive this man to booze  

 

And if we think our woman’s fickle

We only need some slap and tickle

tae while away the wintry nights.

‘It’s murder getting aff these tights.’

 

 The same excuses aft frustrate

‘I’ve PMT, it’s getting late!’

I ken at times they’re a’ guid cause

But noo she got the menopause

 

Oozing beauty, fair of face

oor better half is fu’ o’ grace

She always wears a lovely dress,

“thank God we’ve shares in M&S!”

 

If truth be told we need each ither

Mither, faither, sister, brither

Without the lasses we’d a’ be lost

up s**t creek, much to our cost.


Noo it’s time to profess our devotion

We’re no that guid at expressin’ emotion

Flowers or chocs we gie o’ oor best

‘Whit are ye after?’ They answer in jest

 

I’ll noo confess that a’ this teasin’s

Only for the best o’ reasons

We really ken oor women are

for us, the very best by far

 

Noo gents, up aff yer asses

Raise your glasses

An’ toast the lasses



 

 

 

 

© 2020 alanwgraham


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Reviews

I am laughing my butt off here, This is so creative and so well written. Love this write so much.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

alanwgraham

2 Weeks Ago

Thanks Kay. This did appear to go well when I recited it a few years ago and I believe they realised.. read more
Thanks Jamie, I hope the Scots didn't prove too hard for you. This did seem to go down quite well when i read it at a Burns supper and I hope the ladies didn't realise it was tongue in cheek - well most of it
Hope you are coping with this situation OK - I know how lucky we are here in the country compared with the big cities.
All the best,
Alan

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


A toure de force, Alan!
“thank God we’ve shares in M&S!" really made me laugh! The whole thing was full of joy, humour and gentle good sense! I loved it, from start to finish! Jamie.




Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

alanwgraham

2 Weeks Ago

Thanks for your lovely review Jamie. Of course the ladies knew there wasn't a word of truth in this-.. read more
Beano

2 Weeks Ago

Thank you Alan, and you too! X
Most entertaining.
A cleverly fashioned piece of work.
Well done, Alan!

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

alanwgraham

2 Weeks Ago

Thanks for your kind review Jimmy. It was all just fun of course. I would never dare to say such thi.. read more
Very clever writing, I loved this, found it very creative

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

alanwgraham

1 Month Ago

Thanks for your kind review A. It was just for fun and seemed to go down well when I read it.
.. read more
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Nev
I was smiling all the way through.. love the spellin which helps understand where ya coming from.. the noo
got the galls off a treat.. must be a girly thing coz they're the same round here... but where would we be without em eh' N:)

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

alanwgraham

1 Month Ago

Thanks Neville, I found this nonsense from a Burns supper a few years and thought it was worth shari.. read more
Nev

1 Month Ago


Och aye tis I who should thank thee bonney lad.. and do.. the noo

N :)
Ever so clever and well versed, really enjoyed this alan. Just shows how much we need each other.

Beccy.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

alanwgraham

1 Month Ago

Thanks Beccy. I think the ladies knew I was only joking. This kind of humorous rhyming verse was my .. read more
Thanks Betty. Just a bit of tongue in cheek fun. Ouch - she has my arm up behind my back! No joking , where would we've without you?
Look after yourself.
Alan

Posted 1 Month Ago


First you complain about your women, then you can’t live without them; a lovely poem about relationships, with a bit of wit, needless to say. I didn’t get all the words, but I got the gist of it. I like it very much.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Betty Hermelee

1 Month Ago

Up to you Alan!
alanwgraham

1 Month Ago

My lips are sealed. Ha ha. It's more than my wife is lust - I mean life is worst??
Cheers,read more
alanwgraham

1 Month Ago

Sorry Betty, but that 'read more' thing often appears after I've posted.

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Added on April 9, 2020
Last Updated on April 9, 2020

Author

alanwgraham
alanwgraham

Scotland, United Kingdom



About
Married with three kids, I retired early from teaching physics but have always enjoyed mountains. In my forties I experienced a manic episode which kick-started a creative urge. I've written a novel .. more..

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