Stand Up Act

A short horror story about a failing comedian

Damn this writer block, my comedy show is tomorrow and I haven't come up with anything new. I could go with some old jokes but I don't wish to seem repeating. Luckily for me, I live alone so when I start brainstorming no one will interrupt me, but still, I just could not think of a good joke. "Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was green", well that f*****g sucks. "Knock knock, who's there? Doctor! Doctor who? No not that one, your doctor!", this one also sucks. Even my parrot was mocking me at this point. F**k if I could just think of one good joke I would give anything, I would sell my car, sell my phone, sell my soul, anything! But my brain refuses to cooperate. Then I thought of: "A priest and a child molester walk into a bar, and the bartender asks HIM why is he alone". Okay not bad, at least my parrot didn't call me a jackass. But as I started writing down that joke, I heard a faint giggle. I looked around and there was no one to be seen. Well my own luck that I am poor and that my apartment is small, probably my best friend snuck in wanting to scare me. Giggle slowly turned to laughter and it seemed close, so I figured that b*****d was hiding inside my closet. Well, at least the joke hit off pretty well! I opened my closet yelling: "You are busted!" but there was no one inside. I started opening my cupboards in the kitchen but they too were empty, and the laughter just got louder and louder. Okay now I was scared, I am not some prying wise-a*s wanting to investigate so I just decided to leave, but the keys were missing from the front door. I ran to the kitchen once more and grabbed the biggest knife I could find. " Alright, whoever you are come out now before someone gets hurt, this isn't funny anymore," I said, but the laughter continued. I immediately called for the police saying that there is someone in my apartment and they reassured me patrol will be here shortly, and if possible for me to lock myself somewhere. The only room in my house that has lockable doors was the bathroom so I made my way there. And even inside that furious chuckle was heard, and it sounded like it was right behind me. I gathered up the courage to turn around and there was no one. Then I heard a whisper in my ear: "To your left". Chills ran down my spine but I knew I had to face whoever, or whatever this was, but left of me was just my sink, and the mirror and I finally found out who was laughing. The reflection in the mirror was staring back at me, grinning and laughing, and it had white eyes. I exited the bathroom as fast as I entered it, and every single mirror inside my home showed the same reflection of me mocking myself, and laughter just intensified, slowly piercing my mind, and I just begged it to stop. Then finally salvation came, I heard a knock on the door, and they yelled "POLICE!", I quickly screamed that the door is locked and that they need to knock it down, so they did. And as the door fell down, a blinding light filled my home and just one black figure was standing in the doorway, it approached not changing its color, in its hand holding a deed to my soul and in another hand a pen. I just wanted it to stop so I signed the damn thing and then...I woke up. Everything seemed to be normal, and I rushed to the mirror to check my reflection, and it too seemed just fine. It took multiple cups of coffee to recover from that nightmare. I took a shower before leaving for my stand-up act and I aced it. That one show skyrocketed my career.

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