alcoholic vision

This is what I think the first person of an alcoholic might be

One time is all it takes to become a victim, it has a point of no return to being what you would call normal because you chug it down to get rid of every emotion and feeling in your body. The feeling that you feel during the process is painful as the sharp pinch in your throat makes you want to hurl every organ out of your body. I remember every dark empty night I would go to my kitchen to see it waiting for me on the counter next to a bottle of pills, I would walk over as a tear drops onto my arm knowing what will happen next. If I refused to do this task I would be punished with the demons in my body pulling me towards it… I would take prescription pills to help with the pain in my throat. The thought of my family was nonexistent as the only thing on my mind was getting away from the place that we called home, The time would pass quick as my vision would become blurry and spiraled to the point where I couldn't walk properly which was my goal to become as fucked as possible and maybe, just maybe I could go numb and be happy for one single moment in my miserable emotionless life.