4. Lose

4. Lose

A Chapter by alison13













4.   LOSE


     HE LED ME UP THE MASSIVE STAIRCASE, AND IN TO HIS ROOM. “okay, close your eyes...” he murmured, taking his hands from my eyes..

     “Sure...” I followed what he said. I can hear his footsteps and some things getting kicked out of the way.

     “Okay, now open your eyes...”

     I followed what he said and saw a portrait of a beautiful blonde"of me. It’s like I’m seeing myself in a mirror. I only looked at my face once this morning and I’m sure that this portrait is more alive than I am, though there are less details. “It’s really... charming...” I said after realizing that I stared at the portrait for over a minute already. “It’s prettier than me...”

     “Hey, your amnesia is spoiling your brain... there is nothing more beautiful than you...”

     “Shut up... so, are you really a painter?”

     “Nope... Shane just taught me... well, I’m just a good student...”


     “I don’t want to show you his painting, since the second you see it, you’ll think mine is a trash...”



     “Can I see it? Please...”

     “Didn’t you hear what I just said?”

     “C’mon... please...”

     “Promise me first that you won’t make fun of my painting when you see Shane’s...”

     “Swear...” I raised my right hand.

     “Here...” he took a canvas and took the cloth covering it.

     I was speechless. I don’t have any word to describe it. Okay, maybe amazing, magical, charming, unbelievable, realistic, and prettier no lovelier than me. It has such a perfect feature that it seems like not me. The perfect smile, loose curls flowing down to the strap of my white cocktail dress, the eyes, everything... It’s unbelievable. I know that right now I’m staring at it too long, but I can’t take my eyes off it. It’s not like I’m looking in a mirror, it’s more than that. It’s like I’m an avid fan seeing her idol for the first time. “Wow...” was all I said. As much as I want to say more, there’s nothing really that comes out of my mouth.

     “He said it’s his masterpiece... and I agree with him...” Adam detailed.

     “Really... doesn’t he have a girlfriend?” I mean, base on them, I’m his best friend. But of course, if a painter will consider one of his works as his masterpiece, then it should be a painting of his girlfriend, right?

     “They broke up...”

     “Oh... that’s too bad...”

     “It’s because he’s in love with you... too...”

     “What?” I flickered to him.

     “It’s a long story... and"”

     “I don’t mind...”

     “You need to have your memory back... it’s hard to tell the story if I don’t really know what truly happened...”

     “Oh... well, maybe he’s over it... since, how long are we...”

     “A few months... again...”


     “You need to have your memory back... and fast...” he took the portrait from my hand. “Maybe we should hit your head again...”





     “You know, like in movies, they’ll suddenly get their memory back when they got hit for a second time...”

    “Um, I may have amnesia, but I know that that idea is stupid... that can even lead to worse brain injury.”

    “How did you know?”

    “I asked the doctor...” I flickered to my side then look at him. Then I started to laugh.

    “So, you actually thought of my idea too...”

    “No...” I paused. “Just a little... but I think I’ll regain my memory after a few weeks... I’m recalling some events now anyway...”

    “Like what?”

    “In a boat... um, looks like Venice...”

    “Correct... that’s where we first kinda dated... then you’re like being old-fashioned with the ‘we need to know each a little more’ and things like that,” he looked at me then realized that I’m not getting amused. “Is there anything else?”

    “A dance... more like a prom, though, you’re not my date...”

    “You’re with Shane... is there more?” he asked abruptly.

    “Um...” I tried to think deeper. “That’s all...”

    “That’s fine... take it a little easy... no need to hurry...”



    We hang around to his room, him telling me some funny stories, which, I have to admit that are quite amusing, even when I’m the one being goofy. He should me some photographs on our concerts from touring around Europe. I’m making everything sink to me slowly, as he continued to tell me a hundred more stories.

     “Wait just a second...” I said when my phone rang. I looked at the number but there’s no name indicated.

     “Hey Alyson...”

     “Hey, um, who’s this?”

     “It’s Chace... can I see you later?”




     “I guess... where?”

     “Blue bottle cafe... how about an hour from now, are you free?”

     “I guess so...”

     “Great... bye...” he hung up.

     “Who’s that?” Adam asked, raising one eyebrow. With or without knowing what’s up with them, I can feel that he’s jealous.

     “It’s just Chace... says he want to meet me later...”


     “I don’t know.... to hangout, I guess...”

     “Then I won’t let you...” his tone irritates me. According to him, we always fight about almost the simplest stuff. I guess it’s true.

     “Why not?” I know from that question, it’s gonna start an argument. But who can be blame, when your boyfriend forbids you to meet just one of your friends?

     “He’s you ex, and you’re going to be friends with him again?”

     “I thought you’re already fine with that? besides, he visited me in the hospital... and what’s wrong with being friends to him anyway?”


     “Oh c’mon! You’re jealous of your brother slash my best friend Shane, and now you’re jealous to someone who I haven’t talk to for a very long time!” I nearly shouted. “What’s wrong with you?”

     “What’s wrong for a guy to be jealous with the boys her girl is meeting with?”

     “Jealous is acceptable, forbidding is another...”

     “I just... don’t want to lose you...” his voice almost a whisper as his face turned angelic. Now I know how he can quickly win an argument from me. “I lose you once...”

     “You won’t lose me...” I breathed.

     “And how can you be so sure?”

     “Amnesia or not, I know where my heart belongs to...” I put my hand to his face. “Trust me will you... I’ll just meet him... nothing else...”

     “You can go... in one condition...”

     “What’s that?”




     “I’ll come...”

     “What! You’re overprotective!” I knew it, and from there, another argument was born.

     “C’mon Alyson... be considerate...”

     “Be considerate? Can you hear yourself?” I took a deep breath. I’ll go now... I don’t even know why I’m talking to you with this thing...” I walked out of the room.

     “Alyson, wait...”

     “Take another step and we’re over...” I faced him.

     “What?” he froze.

     “That’s much better...”

     “Can I move now?”

     “After I leave...” I walked toward him. I’ll be back tomorrow... bye...” I kissed him on the cheek then walked down the stairs. I stopped when I remembered that we used Adam’s car on the way. And obviously, this place is so calm, that it’s like cars are almost forbidden to drive by.

     “I told you I should come... you won’t get any ride from here...” Adam shouted.

     I ignored him and went to Shane who’s just in time starting his car. “Hey,” I waved, just in case he can’t hear me.

     “Hey, leaving so soon?” he asked, stepping out of his car.

     “Um, yah... hey, can you give me a ride? Just to the blue bird’s cafe,”

     “Sure, wait, where’s Adam?”



     “He’s just so annoying, I mean, he’s over-protective... we’re not even married,” I breathed. I don’t want to shout again, especially to Shane.

     “He’s just scared of what happened... c’mon...” he opened the car door for me then started the car.

     Maybe Shane’s right. But I just hope Adam can change into a little less protective type. It’s just one accident; I’m still alive, safe and sound.



     We reached the restaurant by five pm. I let Shane go to where he was really going and told him that I’ll just take the cab later.

     I stepped out the car and examined the place. It seems familiar to me now. My memory is coming back faster than I expected, though it’s still not enough.

     I walked in the restaurant and looked around until I found Chace. He smiled brightly as he approached me.

     “Hey, I’m glad you could come...” he said.

     “Of course, why couldn’t I?” I asked, though I think the better question for me is: how did I escape?

     He led me to the table he was sitting on. “Well, I thought your boyfriend wouldn’t let you...” he answered.

     “He almost did...” I sat across him.

     “Then how did you get away?”

     “Long story... so, why did you want to see me?”

     “Well, I’ll be going back to Boston tomorrow,” he breathed, “And I just want to hangout with you today, since if you could remember, you promised to tour me in the city...”

     “Really... well, it seems that you’re the one who’s going to tour me now...”

     “Right... c’mon, I know a great place... and it will remind this of your past...” he took my hand and dragged me out.

     “Wait, I thought my hometown is Boston?” I recalled what my parents told me.

     “Yah, but we also went to California before... you know a field trip... and sneaked away while the teachers are no looking and come back without them knowing...”


     “Here, put this on...” he tossed me a black helmet. “C’mon, hop in...”

     I put the helmet on then followed what he said.

     “Hold on tight...” he drove swiftly through the other cars. He’s like five times faster than Summer to think of it, though, motorcycles are faster than horses anyway.




     “So, do you own a motorcycle back in Boston?” I asked curiously, though it’s obvious that the answer is yes, on the way he drove today.

     “Yes. I owned two, to be exact... but I normally use just one”


     “Never mind”

     “Is it personal or something?”

     He paused for a second then continued. “You really want to know?”


     “Well, it’s because that motorcycle, the one I never use anymore, is the motorcycle we used before... I broke up with you,” his voice broke off on the last word.

     “Could you tell me what happened? You know, just curious... and to help me with my, um, memory.”

     “You really want to know?”

     “Of course...” as soon as the words came out from me, it’s the same time I wish it hadn’t.

     “Well, I met someone... and I guess you’re gonna ask on whose that someone is,” he took a second before he continued, “She’s Jenny Ortega...”

      “Interesting,” what am saying? I thought. How did finding out about the reason why he left you become interesting? “So, where is she now? Do you mind telling me the whole story?”

     “She’s still in Paris...”

     “And you two are still together?”

     “Nope, we broke up about three months ago,”


     “She thinks that I’m just using her for the past five years,” his voice turned low again. “And... and that I’m still... in love with you,” he breathed then continued before I could ask another. “But don’t worry, I respect you and Adam,” he breathed again, “But, can you do me a favor?”

     “What’s that?”




     “Can you still be my best friend? Even if you don’t really remember being my best friend...”

     “Um, sure, and of course, I’ll remember that when my memory returned...”

     “And what you’re saying right now is the effect of your amnesia. You see, even before you got in an accident, it’s like I never existed to you...”

     “Really? Well, um, sorry for my misbehaviour,”

     “Its fine, I understand... besides, I hate myself too,”


     “Because I made the wrong choice,”

     “On what?”

     He suddenly stopped the motorcycle. I didn’t notice how fast we were going when we started talking. “We’re here,” he took off his helmet.

     “So, do you care to tell me on where are we?” I took off my helmet and gave it to him.

     “Well, it’s a large aquarium, owned by my uncle, and since this’ll be my last day here, he said I can bring anyone I want, for free,”


     “Well, I remembered that you loved dolphins, and maybe until now...”

     “Really,” I murmured as some images flashed to my mind, me and my parents, and some other people swimming with the dolphins.

     “C’mon,” he took my hand and dragged me inside.




     He toured me in the large aquarium, pointing on each fish that swam on top of us. Maybe Chace was right, that I love dolphins, but it seems that I love fishes too.

     Chace and I dived in with the dolphins, him showing me some of their tricks, and I watch with great astonishment.





     I kinda remembered some moments in the ocean"not like this, but in a real sea"with Miley, and with Adam, Shane and Nate and the rest.

     We stepped out after an hour"or more, I guess" then ordered sushi, since it’s too early for dinner.

     “So, what do you mean by, you made a wrong choice?” I asked, remembering the last line he said, that keep me hanging to know more.

     “Um, forget about that,” he mumbled.


     “It’s not important,” he took a huge bite on the sushi.

     “If it’s not that important, then why won’t you tell me?”

     “Because it’s just nonsense,” it took a second for him to continue, “Besides, you won’t like it,”

     “Why not?” I breathed, “Besides, don’t you want to help me recover faster? You know, by telling me some memories...”

     “How can I help you recover if I’ll tell you some of my memories?”

     “C’mon, just a hint... is that how you treat your best friend?” I said, though I don’t really agree on being the best friend he had once before.

     “Nope, c’mon, it’s already late; you need to go home...”

     “I’m old enough to have my own home...”

     “Why are you so curious about all these anyway?” he changed the topic to me.

     “I don’t know... I guess it’s just some of the questions I wished I had the guts to ask before the accident...” the words blurted out of my mouth.

     “Fine, I know that I won’t win this argument anyway...” he breathed again, “I made the wrong choice of... letting you go... I just thought about it the other day... what if, I didn’t go to Paris with Jenny and just stay with you? I guess we’ll still be in Boston, you’re not a celebrity, you won’t know Adam and... We’re still together...”


     “I told you it’s stupid,”




     I just kept in silent for a moment. Even if he didn’t left for Paris, we might not still be together, since, according to Adam’s story, we met when I had a vacation here in California for the summer.

     “Want more sushi?”

     “No thanks, I’m already full...”




     I decided to go home after the last sight-seeing with the dolphins.

Chace insisted on taking me home, and I didn’t say no for one reason, I don’t even know which way he took.

     I didn’t bother eating dinner; instead, I just asked some things about my childhood until my mom started telling my story, showing me a lot of pictures while I began to be fascinated on what I never imagined that can actually happen, and on how adventurous life as I saw it before.

     After my mom finished telling me stories, I decided to go upstairs to my room,"which I remembered without anyone’s help" and change. It’s a good thing that hunger never came to my sight for hours.

     I found my diary and decided to read it, and know what else my mom hasn’t told me. Fascination was on my eyes again as I began to read pages and pages of my diary. It’s just too bad that a lot of it still didn’t come in to me, like on how Adam and I broke up and make up again.

     I finished reading my diary by two in the morning already. Maybe later I’ll go to Amy’s house.



     I woke up at nine as my phone rang twice.

     “Hello?” I muttered.

     “Alyson, its Shane, go here now...” he said, he’s voice alarmed.


     “Bye...” he said then hung up.





© 2009 alison13

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i agree to Alyson.. i hate it when boys get over protective.. sure, it's sweet when they care about you, but as if holding you on the neck is another part. and trust me, no one wants to go that far.. :)

Posted 11 Years Ago

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Added on December 24, 2009
Last Updated on December 26, 2009




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