Coming of Age

Youth took me by the hand and,

With faces flushed red, we ran.

Soon, all too soon, we came

To a solemn gate where

All travelers were stopped,

And a toll had to be paid.

She laughed, and gave up

Her only treasure: innocence.

Black birds descended from the sky,

Devoured her laughter, and behind

Her bright eyes, summer turned to winter.

With trembling hands she reached into my

Breast pocket to retrieve my greatest

Treasure: a heart-shaped locket.

The dark gate shuddered open as it

Received my reluctant offering:

A burning cloud of myriad fireflies -

The source of the light behind my own 

Quickly darkening eyes. 

Youth fled in fear, and I stepped

Through the gate alone 

With my locket empty, and yet

As heavy as stone.

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[barleygirl]

One of the most spot-on ways I've seen it said . . . how we freely sacrifice the best of what we are, the best of what we can be, in the hopes we might "fit in" to some widely-accepted persona or purpose. I've always wished I could write a parable so apt, so brief, yet saying so much & conjuring even more as the reader ponders this message on & on (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Laz K.]

How do I thank you enough?
You have just earned the "Reader of the Month" award from me! :)

[John Cardwell]

Beautiful poem Laz. The imagery, mood, mystery, action, word choices - well crafted, very engaging. Thanks for sharing.

[Laz K.]

Thank you for reading and reviewing. It's much appreciated.

[Chris Shaw]

It is a scary time leaving the innocence of childhood behind and crossing the gate into adulthood. Your lines here convey that well. You have used an excellent metaphor here to relate the experience. 'Youth fled in fear', such a powerful line in this poem. Pleasure reading your work.

Chris

[Laz K.]

Thank you!

[Poetic Beauty]

Coming of age, adulthood leaving innocents behind is a trying and wavering time. Heart left empty as passing through the gates weighs on someone.

Love the imagery and how these details are explained in a story like style. Life definitely throws curve balls sometimes and we have to try to navigate around the bended curves in the road.

[Laz K.]

Thanks very much for your insightful comments.

[Dave Brown]

an absolutely wonderfully worded journey
on occasion I'd like to borrow your talent
A truly excellent piece of work

[Laz K.]

Thank you for your kind words, Dave.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

What a terrific metaphorical look at losing innocence...Reminds me of my Catholic background...how any little touch was taboo...
we had to get around all that somehow...but once we did...there was that "oh my , what have we done?"
And yet there was an exhilaration about it all....
if only we could come of age more than once...sad the experience happens but once in a lifetime.
j.

[Laz K.]

Thank you for reading and commenting. It's always very much appreciated, j.

It's interesting how what we are exposed to in childhood seems to shape us as adults - though we might not be conscious of it. That makes it difficult to separate innate morality - if such a thing exists - from ethics that were handed down to us through external sources.