Grateful Fields in May

Pine trees stand like sentinels 

In a line along the footpath. 

What harmony and togetherness 

In their tall silhouette and green uniform! 

But, a brief moment in their company 

Reveals their proud, rebellious nature: 

Unruly branches twisting and turning, 

Guided by Nature’s creative genius 

That revels in its own abundance, 

Birthing such kings and queens as these, 

Adorning them with emerald crowns. 

They stand like soldiers at attention, 

Like hardened bodies at bus stops, 

Like silent rows at checkout counters, 

Like weathered monuments looming over 

Wooden caskets, looking their last 

At a human form that was and 

Shall never again be.

And we, too, 

Marvelous designs, 

Intricate incidents, 

Accidents of fate, 

Stand under the heavens, 

Growing, spreading, branching out 

Neurons, blood vessels, and limbs 

Rooted to the earth, 

Hoping for grace to 

Fall from above 

Like spring rains over 

Grateful fields in May.

Reviews

[Delmar Cooper]

For my part the pines were too many things in too many lines of simile: soldiers, royalty, bus riders and grocery shoppers. The lineup along the road is orderly, disciplined and military, but the pines are soon proud, rebellious and unruly. The connection between the pines as trees, or as any of those types of persons mentioned, and pines as pall bearers or mourners is tenuous and tedious.

If the poem means to say trees are similar to people and people to trees in a certain way, it did not say it to me.
There is material for several poems in this writing, but each would be different as each comparison is different in this poem.

This poem made me think and that is a praiseworthy thing. Thank you for sharing.

[Laz K.]

It is not every day that one receives real critique on this this site, and it made me giggle with excitement, because it is almost impossible to know how others view one's writing when all they say is "Yes, yes...nicely done," or something similar.

I don't think one should explain what one's poem is about - it's up to the reader to decipher, comprehend, or write off.

Anyway, I appreciate the reading and the feedback.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

The commonality of nature in all things of this world despite our variety and diversity. An illuminating message that reflects both beauty and hope in the life we are given. Thank you Laz for sharing your poetry with us.

[Red Brick Keshner]

After having read the poem it became clear why the fields were grateful in the month of May! A delectable ode to Spring, no less. At least to my estimation, worthy of thought and sentiment. Well expressed and much enjoyed. Thanks for sharing. /Frederick.