Mystical Embrace

Mystical Embrace

A Poem by Amandaaa Caroline (:

Waves crashing,
Salty air,
No one around,
Wind in my hair.

I sit here and dream,
Of all that could be,
If we were together,
With you beside me.

We'd kiss and cuddle,
On the beautiful shore,
We'd be laughing, smiling,
Me, you'd adore.

You'd tell me I'm beautiful,
A princess I'd be,
Laying there, in your arms,
For all eternity.

Alas, we aren't together...
Why aren't you here?!
I wish, oh so much,
That you would appear.

Our loving would be endless,
You would hold me all night,
The waves would crash on us,
But we would be alright...

For I'd be in your arms,
Your lips on mine,
We'd cuddle all night,
Our bodies intertwined...

© 2013 Amandaaa Caroline (:


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Reviews

This is soooo beautiful and passionate! Really heartfelt poem :) It's all feel-goodey. Great job!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This piece was quite beautiful. I love how you painted a picture with your words as well as getting the emotions across. Well done!! Keep up the great work!!!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It reminds me of being at the beach. Nice work

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Amandaaa Caroline (:

6 Years Ago

Thank you (:
Clove

6 Years Ago

Hey your welcome! it's sounds very peaceful.
Your first stanza is a delight; fresh with summers breeze, and cool with a delicate flow. I like that this has specificity, as a lot of love poems lack that and merely speak of what is desired. Placing your emotions within an image allows the reader to grasp a feel for what it is you are truly desiring. I enjoyed this piece - the one thing I would say however, is not to force the rhythm. Write what you feel, and then place it on a metre afterwards, so as yo are not using language merely to fill in beats. Anyway, nice ideas, keep it up :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Amandaaa Caroline (:

6 Years Ago

Thanks for the advice; I'll try to work on it.
Sweet poem. Sounds like a wonderful place to be with someone!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Amandaaa Caroline (:

6 Years Ago

Hahaha, yes. Thank you! (:
Very sweet poem; nothing too complicated, clear cut and concise, but enjoyable to read. The rhymes are good ones, though personally I don't like the singsongy rhythm they create sometimes. However, it worked for this poem and added a lightness to it.
Nice job ^^

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Amandaaa Caroline (:

6 Years Ago

Thank you so much, Leona (:

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6 Reviews
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Added on August 30, 2013
Last Updated on August 30, 2013

Author

Amandaaa Caroline (:
Amandaaa Caroline (:

757, VA



About
I'm a fourteen year old who knows absolutely nothing about writing, but I try to make the best of it. glitter-graphics.com I write likeStephen KingI Write Like by Mémoires, journal .. more..

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