California

Edited by the skilled, Richard W. Jenkins.

  California….

Remember …

when we left California,

drove that

bright blue four-wheeler

over to New York,

where aspirations

of too many

faded away in sullied fog,

so dolefully

clouding our visions?

I find myself there

a little too often, now.

I guess …

vivid pictures

'neath big bright lights

feel all too familiar;

because,

it’s where I know I can find You.

The lights …

seem to work

hand-in-hand with my lover.

Unfortunately,

they never shut-off;

everyone says

it’s the city that never sleeps,

where dreamers dream;

   where despaired souls roam.

You …

just happen to be another piece of life

we all wish we could turn-off,

just once in awhile.

It’s hard …

to appreciate beauty

where everyone lives;

and everyone loves.

I, sometimes, think,

"Going back to California

would feel more like home;

because, you see …

too many

have plunged in this place,

where we throw bills

at the wealthy …

change at bagmen."

It’s unfair,

          unfair,

             unfair …

but, you wouldn’t leave;

won't come home with me.

If,

we could all have our way,

I’d navigate

that piece of steel,

swiftly, through the lost tunnel,

taking you to a new horizon

on the golden coast,

where we'd dance in that small den …

making love,

without the noise.

You’re lost in New York …

I’m strutting streets,

throwing change at the bagmen

in my tall, red penny loafers,

with a man

who loves a world

   that loves back.

I’ll appreciate, dear,

puddles we stand in

on this sidewalk …

where the incubus is far,

but also near.

And, maybe, 

           just maybe,

I’ll see California again

… in my dreams.

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

But you wouldn't leave
and come home with me

And that must have been incredibly painful to find your lover preferred another city. This poem tells a story and is filled with nostalgia. The story a common one, two people on the same path and then it diverges. 'home' is where the heart is, and if he ain't there, then it's not really home. Felt this one marina. Yes, felt it deeply.

Chris

[lovelymarina]

Thanks again for your lovely review, Chris. I’m glad you captured the nostalgia in this one.
read moreThanks again for your lovely review, Chris. I’m glad you captured the nostalgia in this one.
Much love,
Marina

[lovelymarina]

Much love!
Marina

[barleygirl]

This is incredibly creative writing & I was transfixed thru it all. Be honest, I tend to drift on a longer poem like this, but I was all there with this one. The details of your imagery tell a story all its own. I love how your style is a little abstract & ephemeral, but mostly straightforward, dig-in-your-heels authentic (((HUGS)))

[lovelymarina]

And this was an incredibly rewarding review to receive from you! I appreciate the raw and honest opinion about the lengthy poem :) I tend to get worried that the longer one's will lose people, but I'm glad this kept your attention... Thank you so much dear!!!!
Xx
Marina

[Crowley]

The nostalgia drips from this one. Memories, love, right place. We all have to have a place to call home, even if it’s not the place we are laying our head, and not the place that makes our loved feel the same. I can see why you like this one. It is very good…

[lovelymarina]

Yes we do... whether it be a place or person... home is home and leaving is hard. Thank you for your kind words always,
Marina

[h d e rushin]

I have an old lover who moved there and refused REFUSED to come back to Detroit. We were talking the other night about how the skies over California were dark with the silt and ash from the constant fires. And how after that the mud slides roared from the mountains and clogged the roads. And how there was a homeless encampment right outside my aunties window.. And how they were rationing water to conserve that precious resource. And how a mask mandate has been enacted by the governor. Or how the traffic was always horrible on the highways even at 2AM. But yes, the beach is always just a walk away. And the ocean view in the morning is still thrilling. And how no one is shoveling snow in November. And how you could catch varieties of ocean fish right from the beach. Perhaps everywhere is the paradise of our own making. Perhaps the bagman wishes he was somewhere else. Great memories my friend. dana

[lovelymarina]

Absolutely loved this comment ! So beautiful but also heart wrenching and painful. More so, coming home with me was kind of a metaphor for being in a relationship with me, and leaving all the women of the world behind. It’s hard, he’s just like new york, the lights never shut off, theres always traffic… and i wish i could take him away from that world and bring him home to me forever. but maybe it would happen in my dreams. Thanks so much for this beautiful review

[Coyote Poetry]

You are a amazing story writer dear Marina. I was station at Fort Ord, California for three years. I live in Michigan now and I dream of Monterey and Big Sur, everyday. I liked the honest tone and the journey in the words. Love seem never fair. Two people are never on the same path.
"I’ll appreciate the puddle we stand in dear,
on this sidewalk where the incubus is far
but also near-
and maybe,
just maybe,
i’ll see California again in my dreams."
The above lines stood out to me. Thank you for sharing the amazing story and your thoughts.
Coyote

[lovelymarina]

It's hard when you want to take someone away with you but you know their journey differs from yours. Thank you for your kind words and review :)

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed your work and you are welcome Marina.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

This reminds me of the song "Please come to Boston" by David Loggins...
and your parts about the Lincoln Tunnel...I remember riding through that and the Holland Tunnel pretty often when I was kid living in the Bronx.
I hope California can become a reality.
I remember sidewalks, a few trees and a lot of concrete.
good write.
j.

[lovelymarina]

Thanks for the review, love your analysis :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

here is an appropriate song for this poem...
This Group was from Chicago...they had several local hits...on a nationwide scale, just one...Sugar and Spice...but big in our neighborhood...I saw them live a few times...good stuff.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dL5CiUTbl08

[John the Baptist]

Well, we all have conflicts of one sort or another. Possibly love presents more conflicts than anything else in life. The speaker is a California girl who apparently never got totally comfortable with New York. Now she longs for her lover to return with her to the Golden State, but he is apparently hung up on the Big Apple. I don't see this one working out happily.

[Relic]

I really think you're a poet and you don't know it. (see what I did there). :)

I think your attention to detail is what makes you - and specifically this poem - so good. In my head I can see a black and white film being played with your voice in the background.

This is deep. I can see the lights, the bagman, the gritty parts of the city. And I can feel the pull you so want but can't get. This is really good, Marina. Keep writing.

[lovelymarina]

Cant thank you enough for the encouragement - I know I have work to do within my poetry- and it needs a lot of work. Which is why i’m grateful I found this site for some guidance. Your reviews mean the world and more, Thank you, again.

[Relic]

People have their own ways of writing. I'm not as critical as I used to be when reading others. I look for that ahh effect after I read a poem. I'm getting that from you.

[Connor]

Amazing writing that captures the nostalgic memories of a former partner.

[lovelymarina]

thank you so much.