adieu

adieu

A Poem by amarlaksh
"

it has got a vivid variety of layers

"
An old recluse had,
by the lakeside grown.
Sevenscores and a two took,
haven in his white tresses.
Of reek scent, had tenuity in form,
absurd face and tepid of skin,
rusty to talk, yet chivarlous walk.
With an ochre hat, on head apt.
Reticent he stood, in sylvan wood.
A snitch he was, of nature across,
the lake that lead, many more to dead
---amar laksh

© 2012 amarlaksh


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
DrD
I enjoyed this but was also concerned about the word "snitch." Snitch is a modismo, coming out of prison jargon and I think it is out of place in the eloquence of all the words around it. I don't know how it could be replaced without reforming the entire line. Nonetheless, again I enjoyed the concept and the detail was excellent. I will visit you again soon.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

amarlaksh

11 Years Ago

thank you sir.



Reviews

nice piece man...

Posted 11 Years Ago


This is very good. I love the dark dramatic ending :}

Posted 11 Years Ago


Very nice write :) Very descriptive

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

it is layered alright...Piled high and full of realism....Snitch is a common word in England meaning a grass....an informer.....But you already know this

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

amarlaksh

11 Years Ago

extremely grateful (and relieved! ) that you reviewed it sir.
very descriptive, lovely poem

Posted 11 Years Ago


[send message][befriend] Subscribe
DrD
I enjoyed this but was also concerned about the word "snitch." Snitch is a modismo, coming out of prison jargon and I think it is out of place in the eloquence of all the words around it. I don't know how it could be replaced without reforming the entire line. Nonetheless, again I enjoyed the concept and the detail was excellent. I will visit you again soon.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

amarlaksh

11 Years Ago

thank you sir.
I enjoy this one, especially few first lines. In the last line I would use 'deed' instead of 'dead', it would give a nicer flow to it. Just a friendly suggestion.
Otherwise, I'm a big fan of this poem!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

amarlaksh

11 Years Ago

well i know but i am expressing in the poem that , he is a snitch, an informer of the nature(the lif.. read more
Ina Waltz

11 Years Ago

oh... then it's a different story :) arrangement confused me a bit. Sorry! :)
amarlaksh

11 Years Ago

thats ok :)

3
next Next Page
last Last Page
Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

782 Views
27 Reviews
Rating
Added on August 20, 2012
Last Updated on August 20, 2012
Tags: life, poems, poem, poetry, agony, sattire, love, poetic

Author

amarlaksh
amarlaksh

Agra, Atheist, India



About
Well i am just a seventeen year old creative kid who likes to read and write more..

Writing
Quotes 4 Quotes 4

A Poem by amarlaksh



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


laugh laugh

A Poem by Dupur Mitra