I'm 17

A Poem by blink182427

I’m 17 and what this means is I am overwhelmed and some days I forget that I have to eat and I just drink coffee all day. I’m 17 and what this means is I drive all night past curfew wondering if my adventures will take me to the place that I really want to be. And because I’m 17, I don’t know where that place is yet. I’m 17 and that means I walk the lonely halls of a lonely high school 5 days a week for most of the waking hours, knowing just as much walking out as I did walking in. I’m 17 and at the end of the day I come home to a house filled with demons from the few times my mom and I would argue and fight and leave bruises. Some on our arms and faces, but most in our minds and hearts. I walk into my room and all I remember is the night I lost my virginity and because I’m 17 that was too long ago and I can’t picture it the way I should be able to. I’m 17 and that means I still have a best friend who understands me more than I understand myself. I’m 17 and that means I hide how I feel even to the people who need to know. I’m 17 and I don’t know who I am. I’m 17 and that means I think I’ll never know what I want to be when I grow up and I’ll always be afraid I’m doing something wrong. And why can’t I be like my mom was when she was 17?! I’m 17 and that means I shouldn’t know what my mom was like in high school but I do because she’s very open and I love that. I’m 17 and that means I have a car that I don’t own but because I’m 17 I have so many memories in that car of spontaneous road trips and awkward sexual encounters in the cramped backseat. I’m 17 and that means I have a lot of growing up to do, and god, I can’t believe I used to think people my age were grown up.