Why?

This is not actually by me. It is by one of my very close friends. I have permission to put his writing up.

 

WHY, that might be the biggest and hardest question ever! But does anybody know the answer. I know that I don’t. I wish someone could answer it for me, but I have realized that the only person that can answer that is me. I understand that there’s a problem but I’m just to blind to realize that it is me, but I don’t know what to do about it, for some reason I make everyone confused about me. But you can put the blame on me, cause the person I feel that I am, would rather take blame for the friends that mean the world to him, even if they don’t realize what they mean to him. I feel lonely, I have nobody to confide in and get advice from, but yet, he is told that he does, so why does he not believe them, is it because what has happened in the past, does the past matter, should the past be in the present or just forgotten.

WHY do all good things come to an end,  it is too hard to deal with, or is it. What is the point of working towards something good when you know it will be taken away from you in the end. People say that its so you make the best of what you have, but the thing I don’t understand is, what is the point of working hard and making the most out of your life, when it is just going to be taken away in the end.

 

WHY is it so hard to get what the heart really wants, its not hard to see want you want, it is hard for the thing you want to want you. It is as if they are blinded by the light, the only solution I can come up with is if I black the sun, that way I wont know want I want cause I cant see it and fate will decide what I get, so that means all I can do is hope the person I want would dream of me and hopefully they will think im amazing. But what if one day they realized that im not worth it and they are sick and tired of my face, will they just get over it or will it be to late. Then that’s when my friends come in and tell me to keep holding on, but how long should I do that, if I am strong, will I make it through.

 

WHY do i wake up and see that everything is ok, will it be the first time in my life that I slow down and be amazed, will I think about the little things that make life great, would I change anything about it, will it be the best feeling….. WHY….. cause this innocence is brilliant, but what does that mean, am I that stupid not to realize that is way out of my league, should I just let it pass me by or am blinded by it cause it is what I want, do I know that deep down I will never get it, why do I keep telling myself that I can and how long do I tell myself that I can. Cause, everytime I try to fly I fall and im put down and forced to relive what has happened and why to I have pressure from other people, I know what I want and it is hard to get, so why is it that I feel pressured, is it because of my friends… maybe, is it because of my family… maybe, or is it just me.

WHY do i say that what goes around, comes around but that wont work in my case. My friends have been places that I haven’t and it is so hard to talk about that because I haven’t, it like someone telling me about their trip to America and asking me what I thought about America , but I haven’t been so I wouldn’t know….. awkward, I hate when they talk about things like that, I feel so left out, but then I think about it and wonder why its such a big deal, is it a big deal, or does that lead back to my problem…. Why do I have no self confidence, I get told all the time that theres nothing wrong with me, so why don’t I believe them, maybe they are lying to me so they don’t hurt my feelings.

 

WHY are all these mixed signals, their like flashing lights coming from everywhere and I just stop and stare all confused. But I get told that when im close to tears remember that someday it will all be over, so should I remember times that made a difference or should I start doing the things that I want, but that’s seems so impossible, and then to add to the confusion, my friends tell me that, even the impossible is easy when we’ve got each other. But maybe its time for my not so happy ending, why is it that when I wake up in the morning and stumble on my life that I keep thinking that I wont have a happy ending, is my happy ending gone forever, maybe I should just open my eyes and realize whats there and be happy with that.

WHY do I feel that I should learn to fly, and fly away to a distant island somewhere, so up up and away for me, cause I try to be perfect and get I get nothing in return, am I better off on my own, my thoughts are so tempting, but should I go and see what happens or should I stay and continue with my not so perfect life, its hard to believe that I am thinking this, but I think that im better off on my own and I don’t know why. I want to feel that I am wanted by someone, I need someone to help me keep moving forward, I need somebody to be my purpose, I need someone to move me, I need someone to calm the storms, I need someone to hold , I need someone to take my breath away, so how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you, would you tell me that it could be any better than this.

WHY do I feel my wings have broken in your hands, I feel the words unspoken inside, I will give you anything you want and more, but all my dreams have fallen down, let your warm hands brake right though me, I feel the waves crash down inside, but hey that’s only what im feeling, I think I need somebody to save me from this place. So to anyone who reads this and if I have hurt them I will apologize now, cause I have been told before

That it’s to late to apologize…

SORRY

Author's Note

I will accept any type of criticism for this.
But most probably wont share it all with the writer.