In Retrospect, I Still Am She....

In retrospect, I still am she

Born to the path of trodden trees

And lying webs of spiders spun

Betrothed to me, less filigree

And in the farmhouse, wilted white

Caligula became the queen

And like Medusa, turned to stone

All who saw her impish mien

And I, the girl of Spanish moss

became the queen's own wailing wall

Who bore the weight of her despair

In dungeons draped with satin gall

I’d gaze up at the starry night

In constellations, found delight

I wished for wings of Pegasus

To shuttle me from prison’s plight

In retrospect, I still am she

Born to the path of trodden trees

But now envision paradise,

For time hath set this captive free…

 

A.McNally (April 27, 2013)

Author's Note

photo is from deviantart

Reviews

[Riley Bray]

I really liked this poem, and the only thing I have to point out is small. You see, to me this line breaks the poem's flow a tad bit because I believe it could use one or two more syllables,"Became a human wailing wall." Aside from that, though, I really loved this poem. :)

[Avocations of Amber]

Thank you for reading. :) I'll take that into consideration.....

[Riley Bray]

Sounds good, and you're welcome. Again, very nicely done. :)

[Avocations of Amber]

Does the change sound better in regards to the flow?? I appreciate the help. :)

[Riley Bray]

Yes, much. :) Thumbs up from me!

[Avocations of Amber]

Great! Thanks a bunch....

[Riley Bray]

No problem. ;)

[Larry Dyson]

A depth of meaning in your duality of wordings...nah expressions of those seen and unseen from your youth....deeply stirring..LAury

[Avocations of Amber]

thanks Laury.... :)

[icelandicblue]

The timeless travels of the girl of Spanish moss. You've skillfully woven so many images together into its own unique tableau.

[Avocations of Amber]

Thank you very much. "Timeless travels...." :) I like that.

[Ed Hart]

we embed our words on the world, shaped like clay figurines, glazed in tears and hardened in heat...we share our world at a tangent, but the point is sharp and the penetration deep...we share our words into the world, we share our hearts, we tell our tale...this is well and powerfully done

[Avocations of Amber]

Wow....thanks, Ed. What an insightful review. You always give them thought. I appreciate that. :)

[DL Shackleford]

Your descriptions and comparisons in this are excellent. I love the ease with which it flows and that she has survived this childhood to '...envision paradise'.

[Avocations of Amber]

Thank you for such a thoughtful review! :) I did indeed survive....

[asdarkeyesclose]

'I still am she

Born to the path of trodden trees

But now envision paradise,'


caligula frightens me possibly more than any other man in history, i liked your poem, it had an ethereal quality to it, very light and the sense of hell reversed to a new found freedom very moving. lots of intensity in the descriptions too. fantastic.

[Avocations of Amber]

Yes.....he was a very sadistic creature. Perhaps comparing him to my mother was a bit harsh ;), but the point was made. I'm happy that you read it and found it moving. Your writings always provoke the same in me :) Thanks again for the review.....most appreciated my friend...