Radical Man-ectomy

Radical Man-ectomy

A Chapter by Lyn Anderson
"

Inspired by Delmar Cooper.

"
I had an itch
I couldn't scratch
or maybe it
was an egg
I couldn't hatch ...

A ringing in
my ears I could
not place ...

An ugly pimple
kept appearing
on my face ...

I tried my best
to make it better
took everyone's
advice to the
letter --
counsellors,
exercise,
weight loss and
meditation
once I even
took a vacation ...

Jumped on
the bus and
an old lady
looked at me,
in an instant
she knew
exactly what
was wrong with me

"HUN", she said,
"I know just what you need,
go home, don't be late,
don't hesitate, nor
vascillate, you can
take my gun,
and make sure it's done
with expediency,
a radical man-ectomy!"


            




© 2016 Lyn Anderson


Author's Note

Lyn Anderson
captcha UNSIN -- no kidding.

My Review

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Reviews

Wait, what? I can do this?
Hmmmmmm.... If only it were not so hard to get a gun in Canada.
This is funny. I mean, I would never of course. :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


Lyn Anderson

8 Years Ago

Aww, thanks. I miss Delmar. He helped me a lot. And we fought like cats and dogs behind the scenes.
Papaya

8 Years Ago

I always enjoyed his writing.
Has he closed or just on a break?
Lyn Anderson

8 Years Ago

He didn't close out, just not here a long time.
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V
Witty and sarcastic piece. I like the word invention. Well, that's what we all need at times, isn't it? ;)

Posted 8 Years Ago


Lyn Anderson

8 Years Ago

Most definitely. Thanks for peering back into my history!
V

8 Years Ago

You're welcome. :)
Oh hell yeah! This is hilarious & lighthearted & tongue-in-cheek to the point where you're looking a little like a chipmunk! *tee! hee!* I love the rhymes. I love the clever expressions for every suggested diagnosis & the first 3 stanzas are zinging full force! I love witty made-up words in general, but your final line takes the cake and ice cream too! I can only aspire to write something so clever & playful, when in the midst of something that bugs the crap out of me! *smile*

BTW, I just reamed two new members to this website, which compelled me to turn to more lighthearted pursuits (in an effort to shake my foul mood), and the lovely boomerang effect led me to this! Now if I could apply such a hilarious analysis (as yours, here) to my recent newbie issues, I'd be conquering all my woes!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Lyn Anderson

8 Years Ago

Well thank you my lady. This was a very fun piece. I wish my ex would have read it at the time. Now .. read more
barleygirl

8 Years Ago

I love it when we get to the point of laughing at the biggest mistakes we've made. I love "250-lb gr.. read more
Chuckling to myself, as I read your poem, KL. Am left wondering, does your radical man-ectomy work, as SRS, if so, could you do it, to me? Am about $30 k (US) short of paying for it, myself. And could you send that kindly old lady, in my direction, maybe she has a cheaper solution, for a SRS, than the medical community wants, with an arm and a leg, from each trans patient, they operate on. Thanks for the laugh, am feeling, a tad sad, today. Think it's the weather and the coming snow storm.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Lyn Anderson

10 Years Ago

Well, this one would not exactly be the kind you want, however, I get it. To your knowledge has any .. read more
therisa

10 Years Ago

I have seen a few people do it, but it's something, the government should be paying, without any res.. read more
Wow am I glad I am not the source of the pimple that kept popping up. I had to be excised in such a brutal fashion as to be evised. Yes I said evised, I made it up, what of it? This is truly an interesting and funny piece. I really like it. Evised: the less commonly used form of eviscerated.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Lyn Anderson

10 Years Ago

Ha ha very funny. No worries, my friend, glad you liked.
Amen. sometimes you have to cut it of at the source. Very Funny!

Posted 10 Years Ago


Lyn Anderson

10 Years Ago

Thank you, I appreciate it.
MomzillaNC

10 Years Ago

Be sure to go to the contest and vote for your favorite: http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/Make-Us.. read more
OUCH indeed!! Hilarious too, KL - I'm glad you encouraged me to check out your latest work. And those captchas...they are really starting to freak me out. They're *so* on point sometimes, that it's as if someone is watching you write the poem, and then manually types it in. but probably not.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Lyn Anderson

10 Years Ago

Thanks so much. I loved writing this one, sadly, the title seems to be off-putting and people are mi.. read more
Eric Pudalov

10 Years Ago

Oh...I didn't find it off-putting - based on some other things you've written in the past, I can see.. read more
MomzillaNC

10 Years Ago

Be sure to go to the contest and vote for your favorite: http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/Make-Us.. read more
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ron
OUCH!!!
That hurt :(......


Posted 10 Years Ago


Lyn Anderson

10 Years Ago

It wasn't directed at you. My aim is pretty good. :)
ron

10 Years Ago

I was hoping it wasn't, thank you KL.
MomzillaNC

10 Years Ago

Be sure to go to the contest and vote for your favorite: http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/Make-Us.. read more
Hahaha of course that's the cure lol.Loved this cat and as I said "if you need help burying the body or body part ".I 'm your angel lol.This was great :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


Lyn Anderson

10 Years Ago

Yes ma'am, and I will be there with bells on LOL
Vidya Bacchus

10 Years Ago

Hahah I like bells lol
MomzillaNC

10 Years Ago

Be sure to go to the contest and vote for your favorite: http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/Make-Us.. read more
Watch out world, damn that was a feisty tale indeed. I must remember to wear my bullet proof vest.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Lyn Anderson

10 Years Ago

Ha ha very funny. Thanks for reading.
The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)

10 Years Ago

It was my please.
MomzillaNC

10 Years Ago

Be sure to go to the contest and vote for your favorite: http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/Make-Us.. read more

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667 Views
16 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on March 8, 2014
Last Updated on August 15, 2016
Tags: funny, break up, humour, manectomy


Author

Lyn Anderson
Lyn Anderson

Toronto, Ontario, Canada



About
I write under a pseudonym. I don't do Read Requests, but you can PM me if you want me to read something specific. I make friends with people who I read and interact with. I won't accept random reque.. more..

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