collectively damaged

a random snippet collective

at odds

am I brilliant?
probably.
but that
is at odds
with my
failure.

high hopes

you had

high hopes
for me.
I had them too.
but I live
in a colony
of men,
not ants.

Trinkets lost

In the pawn shop

Of my mind

Empty words

Stray poems

Left behind.

The interest due

Is too steep,

So I must

Leave them

Buried deep.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Lost, n'MT]

Both cleverly constructed and brilliantly written. I really enjoyed the style you used. This piece expresses powerful emotions while provoking many thoughts. I find myself relating to the beginning, middle, and end. I found the last stanza to be very strong and my favorite of this piece. Very enjoyable from start to finish, and I thought the title was apropos as well. Very well written piece!

[Lyn Anderson]

thank you. This is a little sort of "trademark style" I developed here at the cafe' -- it's actually how I have always written -- multiple poems of the same thought on the same page. I used to split them up as separate entities, now I keep them together.

[Lost, n'MT]

You're welcome. I had thought it was a very unique style, and I have had seen other enjoyable unique writing styles on the Cafe as well. Very clever to keep them together, I thoroughly enjoy and am impressed with your style.

[Lydia Shutter]

"The pawn shop of my mind" Absolutely LOVE that line! We trade in some hopes and dreams as the years progress, but I think we always remember them....and have some regrets. What a great song you chose to accompany your words here, KL. Our parents had high hope for us....they thought we could do anything. What happened? (rhetorical of course!) Your poetry makes me think, KL...a good thing. Lydi**

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you, I must admit to having succumbed to the mood of the day for a poem or two ... it is a difficult thing to not get discouraged sometimes -- writing it out and picking up something fun -- like a collab with Papaya and Jon, for example, is just the ticket.:)

[Ana Papaya]

I can so relate to that first one. I'm lucky in many ways, by some measures very successful. But of course in some aspects of my life I have failed. Love this collection.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you. I think a lot of people can relate. This one was, admittedly, a bit of a downer.

[Ana Papaya]

Yes. But it's ok.
You learn from the downers and they are a spring back into gratitude and appreciation for the good moments. I think.

[Baby Ricochet]

"Trinkets lost in the pawn shop of my mind." Great line.

[Lyn Anderson]

oh, wow! So great to see you! What a nice surprise pop in. I have missed your poetry bombs -- with what's going on in the U.S. right now, they must be flying regularly.

[barleygirl]

I relate to each of these sentiments in such different ways. (1) I've always been aware that I've been wildly successful, while also being a disappointing failure at the same time. (2) Oh how much simpler it would be to reach our highest potential, if we didn't have to contend with all the human frailties that plague us from the inside & the outside. (3) THE ONE I RELATE TO MOST, especially (as I told you in PM) as I sort thru the remnants of my life . . . *sigh* . . . very intensely stated in so few words. I love that about your most prominent style (altho I also love watching you experiment with other styles & collabs).

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you so much. Funny thing is, I didn't know it was a style till I came here. :) My life is often up and down and happy/sad -- these were my rather melancholy, somewhat frustrated moments.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Ouuuuuu. Trinkets lost in the pawn shop of my mind. Wow stuff. Are you moving into greatness KL?

Regards,
Al

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks, I think. :)

[V]

Interestingly written piece with a lot of interpretation possibilities. I'm not sure yet so I just let you know that your two closing lines read best to me. It's a thoughtful and entertaining poem, anyways.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you. I lost my poems before I went to sleep. :)

[V]

Ok I see. That's a little disappointing, isn't it?

[Jacob Clifford]

Very powerful little snippets, and well-written too. I do like the format. It leaves some space between the ideas, but ultimately they are connected and push the concepts home.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you. I write a lot of my poems this way. It started at the cafe' actually. I have always written my poems in thought groups, and used to separate them in the editing process. Now I keep them together as collectives.

[redzone]

I have always appreciated the formatting many of your poems take, like this one, but for some reason, with these words the formatting style makes them speak louder, at least to me.... there is an honest openness here as well as an oozing frustration (living in a colony of men, not ants, too high an interest) with being brilliant yet still having failures...

we live in a world where the interest on stray poems is always too high and our words often empty of the power to change this and our brilliance is not enough...

redzone

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you so much. You reassure me that I formatted them just right for maximum impact. I am glad. These are three snippets I collected yesterday on my phone.

[Ted Kniffen]

Good little pieces. I see nothing I would change. I like these. Keep writing.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you. I am too old to stop now.:)