collectively damaged

collectively damaged

A Chapter by Lyn Anderson
"

a random snippet collective

"

at odds


am I brilliant?
probably.
but that
is at odds
with my
failure.



high hopes

you had
high hopes
for me.
I had them too.
but I live
in a colony
of men,
not ants.




Trinkets lost

In the pawn shop

Of my mind

Empty words

Stray poems

Left behind.

The interest due

Is too steep,

So I must

Leave them

Buried deep.






© 2016 Lyn Anderson


Author's Note

Lyn Anderson

My Review

Would you like to review this Chapter?
Login | Register




Reviews

Both cleverly constructed and brilliantly written. I really enjoyed the style you used. This piece expresses powerful emotions while provoking many thoughts. I find myself relating to the beginning, middle, and end. I found the last stanza to be very strong and my favorite of this piece. Very enjoyable from start to finish, and I thought the title was apropos as well. Very well written piece!

Posted 4 Years Ago


Lyn Anderson

4 Years Ago

thank you. This is a little sort of "trademark style" I developed here at the cafe' -- it's actually.. read more
Lost, n'MT

4 Years Ago

You're welcome. I had thought it was a very unique style, and I have had seen other enjoyable unique.. read more
"The pawn shop of my mind" Absolutely LOVE that line! We trade in some hopes and dreams as the years progress, but I think we always remember them....and have some regrets. What a great song you chose to accompany your words here, KL. Our parents had high hope for us....they thought we could do anything. What happened? (rhetorical of course!) Your poetry makes me think, KL...a good thing. Lydi**

Posted 4 Years Ago


Lyn Anderson

4 Years Ago

Thank you, I must admit to having succumbed to the mood of the day for a poem or two ... it is a dif.. read more
I can so relate to that first one. I'm lucky in many ways, by some measures very successful. But of course in some aspects of my life I have failed. Love this collection.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Lyn Anderson

4 Years Ago

Thank you. I think a lot of people can relate. This one was, admittedly, a bit of a downer.
Ana Papaya

4 Years Ago

Yes. But it's ok.
You learn from the downers and they are a spring back into gratitude and ap.. read more
"Trinkets lost in the pawn shop of my mind." Great line.


Posted 4 Years Ago


Lyn Anderson

4 Years Ago

oh, wow! So great to see you! What a nice surprise pop in. I have missed your poetry bombs -- with w.. read more
I relate to each of these sentiments in such different ways. (1) I've always been aware that I've been wildly successful, while also being a disappointing failure at the same time. (2) Oh how much simpler it would be to reach our highest potential, if we didn't have to contend with all the human frailties that plague us from the inside & the outside. (3) THE ONE I RELATE TO MOST, especially (as I told you in PM) as I sort thru the remnants of my life . . . *sigh* . . . very intensely stated in so few words. I love that about your most prominent style (altho I also love watching you experiment with other styles & collabs).

Posted 4 Years Ago


Lyn Anderson

4 Years Ago

Thank you so much. Funny thing is, I didn't know it was a style till I came here. :) My life is oft.. read more
Ouuuuuu. Trinkets lost in the pawn shop of my mind. Wow stuff. Are you moving into greatness KL?

Regards,
Al

Posted 4 Years Ago


Lyn Anderson

4 Years Ago

Thanks, I think. :)
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
V
Interestingly written piece with a lot of interpretation possibilities. I'm not sure yet so I just let you know that your two closing lines read best to me. It's a thoughtful and entertaining poem, anyways.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Lyn Anderson

4 Years Ago

Thank you. I lost my poems before I went to sleep. :)
V

4 Years Ago

Ok I see. That's a little disappointing, isn't it?
Very powerful little snippets, and well-written too. I do like the format. It leaves some space between the ideas, but ultimately they are connected and push the concepts home.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Lyn Anderson

4 Years Ago

Thank you. I write a lot of my poems this way. It started at the cafe' actually. I have always writt.. read more
I have always appreciated the formatting many of your poems take, like this one, but for some reason, with these words the formatting style makes them speak louder, at least to me.... there is an honest openness here as well as an oozing frustration (living in a colony of men, not ants, too high an interest) with being brilliant yet still having failures...

we live in a world where the interest on stray poems is always too high and our words often empty of the power to change this and our brilliance is not enough...

redzone

Posted 4 Years Ago


Lyn Anderson

4 Years Ago

Thank you so much. You reassure me that I formatted them just right for maximum impact. I am glad. T.. read more
Good little pieces. I see nothing I would change. I like these. Keep writing.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Lyn Anderson

4 Years Ago

Thank you. I am too old to stop now.:)

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

524 Views
10 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on July 20, 2016
Last Updated on September 3, 2016
Tags: thoughts, high hopes, sadness, frustrations, misunderstood


Author

Lyn Anderson
Lyn Anderson

Toronto, Ontario, Canada



About
I write under a pseudonym. I don't do Read Requests, but you can PM me if you want me to read something specific. I make friends with people who I read and interact with. I won't accept random reque.. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..