Mother Tomb

I think you want to be crucified, sometimes,

bobbing my head down for an apple amid the squeals of some

stillborn love child's indigo lips.

You never asked so you don't know 

how six weeks I counted his curls backwards 

until there were none.

Father's surname feather soft

In a cradle of death.

A fawn shot down,

Bright bullet hole hot springs

Spewing out

On a bed of baby's breath.

We still pull over to examine the wreckage,

Bruises blooming in the reality where I fitted 

on your bathroom floor

And death shook my shoulders 

While you frantically struggled to catch and steady them.

What's in the blood, really?

It rained hard its coagulated tendrils all through the night,

And I

Just wondered what sunrise looks like in Berkeley. 

Reviews

[ChemicalMadness]

I read this days ago. I wanted to come back. Later. Unaffected. Objective. It was all stopgap. There's no way for me to not truly feel this piece in all of its heartbreaking, gut wrenching beauty. This is so rawly expertly penned....I would've guessed you were mid-thirties, looking back regretfully, now with stark and brutal perspective. I stand in awe of the hands and mind responsible for penning this piece....and I pray for soothing of the soul behind the subject matter.

There is such raw and true talent here , it almost hurts.

CM

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Wow...this one really got to me. I love the idea of this, and I feel strong emotion as well as a talented poetic voice. You have a very interesting way with wording and phrasing, which I never seem to get tired of. Well done!

And I
Just wondered what sunrise looks like in Berkely.

Fabulous lines!!!

[Kristin Lee]

I can truly feel the sorrow in this piece and at one point a moment of self preserving diconnect. The loss of a child is utter agony. This piece does an amazing job of taking us down that road through one woman's eyes. "And death shook my shoulders" Isn't that how it feels? We want to die too. Great job imposing such powerful images upon our souls.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A stratrgic piece that negates the realm of guiding one for the thought process, well done,good read.

[Ken Simm.]

Almost overpowering. I will come back to this when I can think of something useful to say. For the moment though these words will stay with me for a very long time.

[unsavable_soul]

Very strong,
To cover this subject alone and especially if it is one of personal nature is strong is also to put it loosely. I am glad you clarified for TLK, I too would have missed the idea or intent behind this piece. I myself am very guilty of failing to capture my idea in a fashion understandable by most if not all readers. I think also this may be due to being a male and not experiencing these things or really needing knowledge of them unless it were my child.

That said I can see clearly the meaning after seeing your explanation. I also see what would be taken on my end in it's ending that it also alludes to the idea the father left, knowing or not the circumstances. Was it perhaps too much for him to bare?

"You never asked so you don't know
how six weeks I counted his curls backwards
until there were none."

Given the context of the piece this was my favorite line as it made poetic the struggles every mother might not go through but fears just the same. This is obviously not an area I should be talking, but thanks for this and it's bold ideas. There are a few areas even knowing the context of the writers intent don't quite make fall into place for me but I often differ from the many in my ideas and opinions.
Keep the art flowing.
Sincerely
Christopher

[Kelly]

Beautifully written

[TLK]

I don't get anything definite from this. But, fiddling with my receiver, I pick up a relationship of endless drive-by shootings, where all the bullets keep missing.

[anamezic]

It's about an abortion.