A single tear

A single tear

A Poem by light and ashes

A single tear falls from her eyes......wishing that she could cry oceans

© 2018 light and ashes


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Wonderfully and palpably rendered, Dear Allie 🌼

By including the word "sad", this would become a truly brilliant 5/7/5 Senryu … goes to show how meaningful a single line of poetry can be. You said more in sixteen syllables than most of my poetry does in sixteen lines of verse.

A single sad tear
falls from her eyes......wishing that
she could cry oceans.

Whether line or Senryu, it swept my heart with a swoon, and that, Dear Poetess is good poetry.
Thank you for a most lovely treat! ⁓ Richard 🍃

Posted 8 Months Ago


light and ashes

8 Months Ago

Thank you for such a lovely review!
Richard 🍃

8 Months Ago

A true pleasure, Allie. : )
And, thank You!
Sounds like deep pain, a lot of which defies releasing. When the feeling nature is ready, it will come.

Posted 8 Months Ago


light and ashes

8 Months Ago

Thank you for your words.
Loved the dichotomy between "ocean's" and "a single tear". And the word economy, you say quite a lot in one line here. Most of the reviews will be longer than the poem.

Posted 8 Months Ago


light and ashes

8 Months Ago

True....but I'm ok with that. Thank you so much for your review.
A lot expressed in just one line - very beautiful and sad

Posted 8 Months Ago


light and ashes

8 Months Ago

Thank you so much. I really appreciate your review.
This reminds me of a haiku I wrote:

Her tear drops
Another pearl on
The carpet

Your poem is only one syllable short of haiku's standard 17. I wrote mine with 11 syllables because that's a closer approximation to the content of Japanese haiku.

Posted 8 Months Ago


light and ashes

8 Months Ago

I honestly didn't realize. I wasn't trying to write a haiku. Thank you for your review. I really lik.. read more
Even a line can show you a whole scenery of something. A very sad piece which we all can relate to it. I loved it.

Posted 8 Months Ago


light and ashes

8 Months Ago

Thank you so much moog-drika.
i know this feeling all too well, I understand this write.

Posted 8 Months Ago


light and ashes

8 Months Ago

I'm very sorry to hear you...
I hope it gets better for you.
Grieving is essential.read more
Less is sometimes more....it all clears and helps the soul heal🌹🌹

Posted 8 Months Ago


light and ashes

8 Months Ago

Thank you for your insight and your review.
A good write as such is often the case with grief and depression; held inside or hidden behind a smile.

Posted 8 Months Ago


light and ashes

8 Months Ago

So true.....depression is a sneaky devil... especially so.. and it's not little either..
Than.. read more
So short but so beautifully written! I love this!

Posted 8 Months Ago


light and ashes

8 Months Ago

Thank you so much!

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51 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on November 27, 2018
Last Updated on December 4, 2018

Author

light and ashes
light and ashes

TN



About
I'm erratic and moody.....I'm a girl who's brain doesn't work as well as her heart. I feel too much. I am insecure, and sometimes I feel like the only thing I do well is write. I am dating anoth.. more..

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