Welcome To My Life

Welcome To My Life

A Chapter by Rose
"

This is a poem I wrote thinking and wishing of how my life could be where you would just get everything you want

"

Love at first sight
It grows,
Like a huge tropical plant
It grows attaching itself to you
It grows out standing green leafs
It gets you stuck
Its stem thin, like a rope
But its strong and ties on to you
You can not move
As I want you to be still
Not move from my sight
As this is the truth
The truth, my stranger
Of love at first sight

My mind remebers
Everything from the beginning to the end
Of everything you do
Like a computer
It can not delete you
Your stuck inside my mind
Your a program that affects my computer
My computer can not work
Without you, it will break down
If I lose you
My computer will be at risk of a virus

I want to be a magnet
A magnet that brings you to me
As every person I have met
Like you in every way
Is metal to me
And your the only type of metal I want
I'm sure, you will get stuck to me
The force of my magnet so powerful
You will get dragged, from where you are
Nothing can hold you
If so, it will get dragged too
As nothing can make this force stop
This magnet is me being myself
I will not stop this force

I want to be with you,
So close,
Every second of my life
If I spot you
I can't stop thinking about you
My dreams are not far from coming true
I will marry you one day
Today or tomorrow
Or whenever

I have saved all my love
Like saving up money
I dig and dig for gold
I have been digging all my life,
I have found most gold
But I am missing one
I am missing you
Your the most precious,
The most biggest,
And the most wanted
Gold in the universe

When I find you
After waiting so long
I will say welcome to my life
And you can see what I have done



© 2012 Rose


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Reviews

This poem has a theme that is exposed stanza by stanza (your love as a rope, as a computer virus, as a magnet and as gold) - this is good technique. The 4th stanza doesn't fit this scheme at all and might be viewed as a distraction from the theme (best to cut it). The poem. like another I reviewed is plagued by punctuation errors (your instead of you're) and again some grammatical things (like most biggest). The secret to taking poems like this to the next level is revision. A good idea, good comparisons, some decent analogies and lots of potentail here. Keep writing. :-)

Posted 10 Years Ago


I really liked the ending of this poem, showing the great potential of love like a bottled genie that can grant its master any wish (anything but to be bottled again, maybe?) Also, nice separate and contrasting selection of metaphors - the plant, the computer, the magnet, gold - which creates changing imagery like a mixed varying recipe. Interesting.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Another nice poem Rosie. You really speak with a lot of passion in your poems. Good job, cupid will be shooting his arrow at you soon. Of that I'm sure.

Posted 10 Years Ago


The poem is very good. I like using the logic of computer and love. Your words are true. We cannot delete. I like the complete poem. The ending was outstanding. A excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 10 Years Ago


Wow! This is a wonderful and most amazing write here.
I really enjoyed this.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Good poem and using many contrasts for love. I wish it was shorter caze it would be more powerful. Anyways good job.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on April 25, 2010
Last Updated on June 27, 2012
Tags: love, life, growth, stranger, wanted


Author

Rose
Rose

United Kingdom



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