Not a Love Bite

There is no love in this bite. No love will come by nagging.

I love him,

With all my heart

I really want to give up everything

But I cannot give up,

Being a vampire

It's a curse

I am cursed for life!

I am like a monster at night

My lover carries a knife

 

I commanded him to blind it,

Underneath his pillow

He says he feels like a widow

His life is empty

I cannot come out,

In the sunlight

He calls me dead

Then he see's me,

Awake at night

 

I wish I could hear,
His thoughts through the day
Instead I cannot be awake
I have to sleep deeply,
In my coffin
One night I requested to hear,
From his heart and his mind
He could not bury it from me

 

Well he could not any longer
He confessed to me
That he hungers to be a vampire
I stand in shock
I would hate him,
For taking away his well-beloved life
To be a hideous monster like me
I am a murderer

 

I suck the beauty of the innocent
I kill them in their sleep
So they do not open their eyes
To the light and day,
Of their dreadful killing life
I have never touched him
The knife was his saviour
To protect him from me

He will not be able to cope,
Through the agony of the bite
It will hurt me,
To see him cry
It's not that great to be me
But he insisted,
He begged,
He went onto his knees

 

Oh please, oh please
He repeated and screamed
He was not going to give up
He grabbed hold,
Of my moving feet
Strongly glued me to the ground
He became annoying
He continued to nag

As the night went quick
I had not drunk,
A thing, not a drop of blood
My eyes sobbed
He has made me suffer
He refused to use the knife
I was losing control
Longing for a bite

 

I could not bare,
To sleep another day
Without a drink
My teeth sunk,
My teeth sunk into him
After mouthfuls
I stopped in shock
Then I realized what I had done...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Livana Lowell]

Hmmm, I don't see what's so wordy about it. The words are fine to me. The only thing is that I can't really tell if this is a straight up metaphor or a plot line developing within the vampire poems. Otherwise, this was pretty good. I don't have much to say. The enjambment is amazing. Thanks for sharing.

[Alyssa Boyd]

Great job(: I really like this,
i love poems and stories about vampires

[Dupree]

This isn't your best piece. It has good form and the wording is okay. I just know you can do better. Just think about it a bit less and just let it flow freely.

[Abdul Aziz]

I second Gomer. I am not into this vampire thing at all. But reading your poem, thinking it to be about the general temptations of life, makes it a good read. One can't always get away from one's temptations. They have a way of bringing us down. Well written.

[zombiikillah666]

whoa.
this was good.

[Undying Glory]

vampires, vampires and more vampires. i say this because i was reading an "Underworld" graphic novel, lol. anyway this is great work, and your poem structure is really unique, gives it extra feel, as well as all the emotions here. epic

[Coyote Poetry]

Sometime the temptation and hunger can't be controlled. The story in your words told a story of a battle to maintain sanity with two different kinds of people. I like the set-up and the ending. When you deal with something that can't be controlled. You are dancing with death. A outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Gomer LePoet]

this is pretty cool even though I'm not really into the bloody vampire thing. I really like the effect you created in the formatting. It was almost like reading in stereo. nice job Ms. Crabtree.

[Ruth]

I can't help it but I love vampire topics lmao
This is great! I love the structure, makes the reader think more! A really good poem love!
Dark
Macabre
xx

[SamBug]

Wow, this was really good! Extremely epic!! I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing