Letting Go

Letting Go

A Chapter by Rose
"

I can be free to love again

"

You're the darkness,

In the sky,

Making me,

Shut my eyes,

You surround me,

Comforting me,

Into a deep sleep,

I enter the world,

Of dreams and fantasies,

Your there,

Smiling at me,

 

Then you wake me up,

Your light,

Commands me to rise,

You are the sunshine,

That shines into my life,

Through my window,

I see you,

A big fire ball,

Floating in the sky,

Telling me,

It's breakfast time,

 

But!

Suddenly,

That has to go,

You're fading out of my life,

You have seen someone else,

I know,

I must let you go,

So you can share,

Your life with another,

I am unwelcome,

She says to me,

To never see you again,

 

In the end,

Whose decision is it?

Love, I quit

No more searching,

No more pain,

Beauty, joy and laughter

Gone from my life,

Your nothing,

But a memory,

 

Cya comfort and company,

 

Welcome and hello,

To loneliness and tears,

Of distress,

 

 

 



© 2012 Rose


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Featured Review

The break in lines suffice fine for causing the reader to pause. Therefore, you do not need so many commas. Where appropriate end the sentence rather than causing a run on with a comma.

First Stanza, Line 10 - should be "You're there" instead of "Your there"

Fourth Stanza, Line 8 - should be "You're nothing" instead of "Your nothing"

I absolutely abhor the "Cya" in the fourth from the last line. If you're going to write e-slang in poetry, I would be consistent with it throughout. To throw it in in one line, in an otherwise pretty well written poem, looks lazy and distracting. I'm sure it's more a sign of youth than anything.

I can see potential in your writing, but it's something that must be honed with time, due diligence, and a passion for poetry.

Linda Marie





Posted 10 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

The break in lines suffice fine for causing the reader to pause. Therefore, you do not need so many commas. Where appropriate end the sentence rather than causing a run on with a comma.

First Stanza, Line 10 - should be "You're there" instead of "Your there"

Fourth Stanza, Line 8 - should be "You're nothing" instead of "Your nothing"

I absolutely abhor the "Cya" in the fourth from the last line. If you're going to write e-slang in poetry, I would be consistent with it throughout. To throw it in in one line, in an otherwise pretty well written poem, looks lazy and distracting. I'm sure it's more a sign of youth than anything.

I can see potential in your writing, but it's something that must be honed with time, due diligence, and a passion for poetry.

Linda Marie





Posted 10 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Cool and true in so many ways. Very nice job!

Posted 10 Years Ago


Wow, this heart breaking poem is breath taking. It shows so much meaning. It's really a great poem.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Welcome and hello,
To loneliness and tears,
Of distress,

This is sad, but well written, i like these lines.

Posted 10 Years Ago


lingering sorrow infuses each line shivering with loss~ a moving ~ expressive poem of true heartbreak~

Posted 10 Years Ago



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Added on August 1, 2010
Last Updated on June 28, 2012
Tags: love, break up, heartpain, life, relationships


Author

Rose
Rose

United Kingdom



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