Your selfish living inside my heart

Your selfish living inside my heart

A Chapter by Rose

My fingertips,

Spread,

Stroking,

Pressing,

Feeling the love

From head to toe

Lips touching

Kissing your smooth skin

Lying as I comfort your legs

Stroking them gently

Your legs treated

Like fur from a cat

Your voice tells me

How much you like to be

The main focus of the night

 

Your body

Heats the room

The temperature

Reminded me of red

You strip

Feeling delighted

To be in bed

In your eyes

I can see it written

All over your face

A smile stretches your lips

You're glad to be wanted

Throughout the day

Feeling even better

Wanted throughout the night

 

You're someone,

Unique and unforgettable

You love to socialise

It's easy for you

To find another like me

Another to let down

In revenge to attack me

For having a life

That is so much better

 

I adored you

You're now a memory

A fantasy

A dream

A nothing

Just something sexy

To have in my mind

So I can go to sleep

At night...

 

 



© 2012 Rose


Author's Note

Rose
Opinions please.. This poem is about how selfishness can break up a relationship. The pain of it you just never want to feel it again.

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I'm always astounded after I read your work, because every time I do, I remember why I fell in love with poetry in the first place, the flow of word, the meaning behind simple things, it brings life to lifeless things and that makes it beautiful. I could go on a huge long rant, but I don't want to waste your time.. Instead I'll tell you what I want you to hear, and it's that your work is incredible, thank you for sharing.
-Cathrine

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Hmm it's an interesting thought. I liked how you used not-the-fanciest vocabulary to get your point across, some people need you to take out the dictionary just for you to kinda get it...so good job. I also like how your movement isn't perfect, but it emphasizes that selfishness can bring pain and how that's a bad thing. I liked it a lot. nice job.
PBP

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I'm always astounded after I read your work, because every time I do, I remember why I fell in love with poetry in the first place, the flow of word, the meaning behind simple things, it brings life to lifeless things and that makes it beautiful. I could go on a huge long rant, but I don't want to waste your time.. Instead I'll tell you what I want you to hear, and it's that your work is incredible, thank you for sharing.
-Cathrine

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

OK, opinion. This is a good poem, but I do not see the extent of selfishness that you mention in Author's Note. It ma be there, but it's not easy for the casual reader (me) to see - in fact, it reads as though there might be some selfishness on each side of the equation (maybe that's the point). The second stanza comes closest to painting a picture of selfishness, but it may be nothing more than narcissism (which may seem to be the ultimate selfishness, but is really something more). The lines 'your legs treated / like fur from a cat' paints quite an image - I'm not sure the image helps move the poem forward. In the last stanza, the selfishness (if it is there) seems to be on the part of the poet (holding on to these images of a lover) but doesn't seem to lead to a break up of the relationship (reference again to the Author's Note"). In the title do you mean 'You're selfish' instead of 'Your selfish'? If that's the case, maybe the selfishness is more intense than the first reading suggests - like, it's selfish to live in someone else's heart. Oh, the complexity of it all. Good job with a difficult concept.

Posted 9 Years Ago


I think you have captured the emotions and aim of what you were effecting when you wrote the piece.
The piece has a slow sensual lead up and then a heartfelt crash at the end which imitates the reality of a break up that has been instigated by a selfish medium.

Nicely done! Two thumbs up!
Hugs!

Wolfie

Posted 9 Years Ago


This a amazing poem! You did well

Posted 9 Years Ago


astute self reflections inside a beautifully expressed poem of multifaceted nuances~

Posted 9 Years Ago


Oddly enough, I don't feel any pain in this piece. More like a mature resolution of pre-expected disappointment....which in my humble experience is the unavoidable conclusion of almost all relationships.

Personally, I like how the poem ends with a broken person retreating to memories and avoiding further confrontation. It really does speak to us all, as even though we all love to imagine ourselves as outspoken - everyone has their moments of hesitation for confrontation (especially when it comes to love).

Posted 9 Years Ago


I love how you ended this poem. This poem is sad with a longing that keeps you awake at night. the poem is nicely written.

Posted 9 Years Ago


wow; this is an insightful expression from the eyes of a lover that has given themselves over completely to another in mind, body and spirit with nothing in return
it happens to all of us
it makes us question; what is love without losing love for ourselves...
yes; selfishness can break up a relationship when one partner wants it all and gives nothing in return but heartache
it makes one think - great write!


Posted 9 Years Ago


I don't know. When a woman treat you with a gentle touch and create great joy. It should be consider a gift. I believe love can overtake us. A wise person swim in the passion. Time does down-grade the passion. The poem is so good. I like the pace of your story and the ending. Sometime if we give all. We are not the loser. A loser give nothing when a great gift is offered. A outstanding poem. Thank you.
Coyote

Posted 9 Years Ago



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Added on September 7, 2010
Last Updated on June 28, 2012
Tags: selfish, heartbrake, gone, living, sex, love


Author

Rose
Rose

United Kingdom



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