This was a really captivating write! I liked how you seemed to pour everything you had into this piece, as it made it a really believable and relatable poem. There were moments, particularly towards the end, where I felt as though you lost some of the intensity that was prominent at the start of the piece, but in saying that, I liked the fact that you were able to showcase the multiple dimensions of such a situation in a really simple and hard-hitting way. Great work,
~PaperHearts
You capture the drama of how life twists many of us around, driving us to crave physical excitements which then leave us confused and regretful as the counter emotions surge over us. Someone will be feeling exactly as you describe right now, possibly even in the same street. It is everywhere.
This is so touching love! Emotively shattering scenario!
You have captured the emotions of such a heart aching situation really well love!
Wonderful work
xx
Finding the strength to walk away from a bad situation always takes courage, yet brings far larger rewards down the road. This piece was powerful, vivid and captured the feelings of pain and need of seperation that was created by a bad situation.
Surely is, and the folks involved with breaking up the relationships are often so surprised when the same thing they're doing is done to them. Guess they just never see that a louse is a louse. Very strong and emotional write. Well done.
This was a really captivating write! I liked how you seemed to pour everything you had into this piece, as it made it a really believable and relatable poem. There were moments, particularly towards the end, where I felt as though you lost some of the intensity that was prominent at the start of the piece, but in saying that, I liked the fact that you were able to showcase the multiple dimensions of such a situation in a really simple and hard-hitting way. Great work,
~PaperHearts
In your author's note, it's "heart-break," not "heart-brake." I don't know much about the differences in the words in the UK versus the US though. Break means to shatter into a million pieces, brake means to slow down.
The good news about that grammar fixation is that I didn't find any in your poem. I actually liked it a lot. The description helped the kinda nervous yet kinda solemn tone at the same time tone. Your poem was fast paced and intense. The message was pretty clear. Nice job.
PBP