Believe Me!

Believe Me!

A Chapter by Rose

I only wanted you

To steal from you

To take away

You're most precious gems

That thought never ever 

Came to me

 

You're a rich and wealthy man

I can see it in your eyes

You know what it's like

To be first class

You have always

Looked down at the poor

 

In disgust you were

Looking at the worthless, dirty and smelly

Bodies of the poor

But not me

You knew me

You knew me well

I was poor

But never did you look at me

Like that

 

But your friends

And family looked at me

In the eye

Like they wanted to spit on me

Choke me

To get me out of there sight

 

I never stole from you

My mind on my heart

I would die for you

Its love

That surrounds me

You're all I want

You're all that I am

Desperate for

 

I maybe poor

I may be taken over

By hunger

I may wear clothes

Of a tramp

But I have never

Begged you for money

 

My soul is white

Plain white

Not a spot of darkness

I am innocent

 

Ask, ask and ask everyone

Ask your family

Ask your friends

Where are your precious gems?

That was put in my room

Not by the hands of me

 

The filthy hands

That robbed the gems

Belong to someone

That wants me dead

 

They have got their chance

It's my turn

You can watch me

With guilt in your face

Hang in the gallows

 

 

 

 



© 2012 Rose


Author's Note

Rose
This poem is based in the 17th to 18th century where robbers were caught and hanged.

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Reviews

This paints such a vivid picture in the readers mind, its addicting to read. I love it. Thank you for sharing.

Posted 9 Years Ago


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a strong, emotive poem..well penned

Posted 9 Years Ago


that character is sure "poor and pride" ...lol

Posted 9 Years Ago


A very powerful story. I had to read it a few times. I like the character you create. Sometime it is very hard to pick-up a life locked-up in the ghetto of life. I like the description and detail of this very good story. Some walls cannot not be broken down. Death is the only peace. A excellent poem. Thank you.
Coyote

Posted 9 Years Ago


It's really interesting. I really like this poem. Your message was displayed well. Your poem fluency was really good and helped with your movement a lot. Your plot and poem flowed together nicely, which is what a lotta people have problems with when writing with description of a story. This is really good. Nice job.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Interesting topic. Lots of emotion coming from it. I like the way it was written as the person was speaking to us of their thoughts. Well done.

Posted 9 Years Ago


It's hard to keep a poem like this moving forward - it's a bare bone look at the wrongly accused with no room or need for embellishment. There's a little too much repetition in it for my taste, but the story moves along quickly nonetheless, reaching a conclusion wherein you leave the subject (not the reader) hanging. Good effort.

Posted 9 Years Ago


I read this in a contempory sense, imagining myself to be the one robbed, perhaps even of words (how vain is that!). I can imagine being in the position of the man who has somehow become tangled with the morally superior robber. Or are the robber's taunts ironic?
I then thought as I read, this cld be a character from Dickens, or one of the grittier Victorian stories by Arthur Morrison.
Either way I enjoyed the read, because I cld hear the voice and feel the drama. It is almost a passage from a play. I then read your note at the end and the poem captures how things were in those centuries really well. They were brutal times.

Posted 9 Years Ago


A good write, stark and powerful, well done.

Posted 9 Years Ago


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Jim
I like the urgency and the confidence in the speaker's tone. It's a classic situation in which we readers have to gauge the reliability of the narrator, and the judgment could go either way. I'm intrigued by the relationship between the speaker and the rich man. That seems something that you might want to explore a little bit more. Why did the rich man himself never look down upon the speaker, though his relatives did? You might also want to add a few more details--what specific kind of gems they were, what the rich man looks like, how he dresses, etc. You might also want to describe the poor people in a bit more detail, what they look like, their rags, their homes. A few more sensory details, smells and the like, would go a long way.

By the way, this scenario reminds me of Rossini's opera _The Thieving Magpie_, which, as I recall, was based on an actual incident in which a servant was put to death for stealing from her mistress. It was later discovered that a magpie with an eye for small shiny objects had been flying in the open bedroom window and helping himself. The story may be apocryphal, but it illustrates just how draconian the laws were in centuries past, and how little chance the members of the lower classes had when they were accused.

A few little things:

"(You're) most precious gems" should be "your"

"To get me out of (there) sight" should be "their"

"That (was) put in my room" should be "were" because "gems" in the line above is plural

"I (maybe) poor" should be "may be"

Posted 9 Years Ago



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Added on October 2, 2010
Last Updated on June 28, 2012
Tags: liar, death, steal, thief, murder


Author

Rose
Rose

United Kingdom



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