Silenced

Silenced.

No one would believe me

If I claimed that I am not allowed to speak

Too many words they would say.

but I am not allowed to utter them

Quietly, gently, all the words I long to say

cut off before they leave my mouth.

New words put in and argued with.

Perhaps not silent, but silenced I remain

 The words they allow me to utter grow louder

Loud they say, Yelling, shouting, screaming

These are the adjectives I hear

And yet why am I not heard, with all this chaotic, ear-shattering noise

that I supposedly emit?

The words are cut off again

this time I am silenced by my own volume

 

I try to explain

How I do not hate trains

That I am not one so much older

That eschews the roller coaster

That I got enjoyment

From my employment

 

But I am once again silenced

This is not what we heard, they say

They give me words I didn’t speak

They tell me these words are enough for them.

Cherry picking from the past then accusing me of the same.

But you, you get to speak

Your words are light and funny and easy

Monkeys and chickens

They will cook with you in the kitchen

You don’t try to explain

Because you are to blame

It’s easy for you

Since I hide what you do

 

I am victim of your narrative

But they are too young and yet too old to believe it was you who gave it to them

They say it is my narrative

It is what I told them with all of my many, many ear-shattering complex words

Will I die keeping the world safe from your secrets

And everyone will breathe a sigh of relief that my loud, loud silence is gone?

Reviews

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

thanks for entering the real me competition i am still judging entries this weekend, thanks for this amazing poem !