Letter in a Bottle

Letter in a Bottle

A Poem by deepblue04

This lovely bottle that I found at sea

I opened it up

And found a long letter

From my ex-boyfriend


“To whom this is concern,

I hope that you find this

Letter hopefully not weird,

Or strange…..


I am going to start off with one thing.

My girlfriend is crazy!

There is no way I can please her,

Without her yelling at me,

Like crazy!”


That is not true


“I go buy her a really special gift

For Valentine’s Day

And she rejects it

She stomps on it

Screams at me”


That was because you got me a necklace

With another girl’s name on it

How was I supposed to not get mad?


“I thought it would be really cool to date her,

But I thought wrong….

Don’t get me wrong or anything,

The memories that we have

Are really cool.

But most of the time,

We were at each other necks…..”


I do agree with that

I did fight with him on a regular base.

It seemed like that the relationship

Was forced.

I feel really bad about it.

I should’ve taken it easier on him.

I do have to admit,

Some were my fault.

I did apologize for the ones

 that I know I had to.


“I guess I should start

To where it first started


She was such cute girl,

And she was new,

So no one knew much about her


One day I had to courage

To ask her out

I was so happy

Because I really like her


The first couple days,

We did things like every couple does,

We go on dates,


Learn more about each other.

She seemed like the perfect match…”


The memories come as I read this.

It was amazing,

It was the first time I kissed a boy.

I enjoyed it a lot

That was my favorite time.


“The day that we had our first argument

Came like this.

We walk each with each other to school

Since we live pretty close….

So I went to grab her hand.

She let go.

She looked at me,

You didn’t say ‘Good morning’


‘You always do……’

‘Good morning.’

She looked as she got smacked in the face.

‘I’m sorry, I expect too much.’

‘No, I’m sorry.’

‘Please don’t blame yourself for my doing.’

‘Why do you do that?’

‘Do what?’

‘You keep on blaming things on yourself.’

‘I’m sorry..’


She started crying with constant apology.

I like how she has never yelled,

And never taken a tone with me.

But I guess I can see that I was the one

Who took it wrong.

She never meant anything

I was her first.

I fixed that argument with a kiss

And hold her hand.

She smiled afterwards.’"


I never thought of it like that.

It always intrigued me, seeing others perspective.

I guess that I was always the one that can easily change.


"I don't know what caused

to be so different,

but I realized that

we were not meant for each other..

So, I'm looking for a new girl now...

I hope that I can find someone that

matches me,

Please write"


Wow... This is different,

but now I understand his feelings..

I threw the bottle back

and walked about my way

© 2012 deepblue04

Author's Note

Ok, the last part was what I wrote quickly... so if any addition needs to be taken, thanks!

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register


Woah. That took me by surprise. The ending seemed a little abrupt, but I like how you ended it, with them both leaving. That was excellent. Great job, very well done.

Posted 10 Years Ago


10 Years Ago

Well, that was kind of.... depressing. They both can just walk away from each other like that? If so then they didn't really like each other to begin with. That is just my opinion though.
Otherwise good. :)

Posted 10 Years Ago

This piece should probably be constructed as a short story rather than a poem. Although it is an interesting story there are many places where it would benefit from a careful proofread, possibly re-arranging some sentences and lines to make more sense. Keep nurturing that imagination and write it all down.

Posted 10 Years Ago


10 Years Ago

thank you!
I love how one gets to actually imagine what the other person was thinking even thought the memory happen in the past,nice work.

Posted 10 Years Ago

I enjoyed this tale. It is cool to look at the past and understand why some people did not fit into a life. I like the letter and the ending. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poem.

Posted 10 Years Ago


10 Years Ago


10 Years Ago

i totally agree with Coyote.
Interesting take on the letter in a bottle! I enjoyed this, I agree with Tai though, not your best, but still good!

Posted 10 Years Ago

♪The Girl Next Door♪

10 Years Ago

No, I really don't know. I'm not to good with editing or correcting other's writing. I'd probably ju.. read more

10 Years Ago

thanks though
♪The Girl Next Door♪

10 Years Ago

not a prob :)
Hmm.. I'm not quite sure what to say regarding this poem. To be honest, it was not your best; but I can see that you tried real hard on it. Your hard work will not be in vain, this could use improvements, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. Don't stop trying!

Posted 10 Years Ago


10 Years Ago

it's only the start, it isn't done lol
amazing :-D

Posted 10 Years Ago

Share This
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


8 Reviews
Added on July 4, 2012
Last Updated on July 14, 2012



DeRidder, LA

Hi! My name is Susan. I love reading and writing poetry! I will accept any friend request and will review any type of writing. I like to listen to k-pop/rock, rock. Blue is my favorite color. M.. more..

Winter Winter

A Poem by deepblue04

That one day That one day

A Chapter by deepblue04

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..

Hold On Hold On

A Poem by Abbie