Mysterious Girl

Mysterious Girl

 She’s nothing special, to be honest. Short. About 5’3” maybe 5’4”. Curvy, but there is a little too much padding there to make those curves worth the effort. I’m not even sure why I’m thinking about her. Perhaps it’s because she’s all alone, sitting and watching us all make drunken asses out of ourselves.

 

She’s different, that’s for sure. The party has been going on for hours now, and she still hasn’t moved except for the occasional bathroom break or to refill her glass.  I wonder what she’s drinking? Not a beer, or cider like most girls here.  A dark spirit definitely, but it looks like she’s drinking it straight.  Rum is the only thing I can think of, that a girl like that would pick up and drink straight.

 

A girl like that?

 

What am I saying? I don’t even know her name…

 

Her name is Cody, and she drinks whiskey. A guy’s name and a guy’s drink, but those curves are entirely female. Apparently she could drink a sailor under the table without blinking an eye… That’s hot. A girl that can hold her alcohol, not just say she can.

 

She’s a strange girl. Every now and then guys come up and start talking to her. She sits there, slowly sipping her whiskey, staring at them with blank eyes as they ramble on about something or another. Sometimes she doesn’t say anything, other times she gets a gleam in here eye and you know whatever it is she said was dirty and a little too much as the guys swallow hard and walk away; only to spend the rest of the night staring at her from across the room wondering if she’d actually do whatever it was she said she wanted to do.

 

She’s so mysterious. I didn’t think mysterious people existed anymore. Everyone is so into posting all their secrets online and telling their life story to strangers that I thought mysteriousness had died back in the nineties. But apparently I was wrong.

 

I’ve been asking around now. Nobody seems to now much about Cody. Some say she’s a druggie, others say she’s an ex druggie, others still say she’s as straight edge as they come. No one is really sure where they met her. She just sorta’ appeared one night at a show, and people talked to her, people always talk to her.

 

Something about being so quiet, so mysterious, makes people want to go over and try to crack her open. Pin her down, and dissect her like a frog. Just how and why can someone sit there and be so alone, yet seem more content then the rest of us here? People, strangers really, go up and they can talk to her. Not about stupid s**t like the whether or what’s their favorite music, stuff you expect to be talked about between two strangers. But s**t like why they’re still going out with an abusive boyfriend. Or why they steel from the collection plate in church.

 

Davey said that she was bisexual. Not like most girls who say they’re bi. Girls who say it just because they think all us guys think it’s really hot, which it is but that’s not the point. Girls who will kiss and maybe even do some heavy petting with another girl in front of a guy, just to seal the deal that they’ll be pulling that night. No, she wasn’t even like the few girls who say they’re bi just so guy’s will leave them alone about the fact that they’d rather like a little fish then suck on some good old c**k. No, she wasn’t a tease, or a lesbian in hiding, she apparently was a true blue bisexual. Liked girls for their bitchiness, and guys for their social awkwardness… I am socially awkward. Just thought I should make that known…

 

The party is starting to die down, people are either passing out or heading home. But not Cody. For the first time of the night she gets up to dance. As she slowly sways and rotates to the music, moving from her hips out, I sit on my perch, completely absorbed, completely obsessed. Some time back I stopped talking to people and sat down so I could watch her and not be disturbed.

 

As she raises her arms above her head I start to worry about how, and why, she became suddenly so captivating. She’s nothing special, not a looker to be sure. 5’3”, short reddish brown hair, curvy but too soft to be considered appealing. Her a*s is big, and she’s as pale as a ghost… She’s nothing special. If I were to actually sleep with her I would get so much s**t for sleeping with someone so plain. Like Davey always said “What’s the point of pulling if your pulling nothing but dogs?”

 

She isn’t really attractive, not ugly but not attractive. I should just go home. Get some sleep and forget about the mysterious anomaly that is Cody.  I was going to, I really was, but right as I was about to get up she looked over at me, and she smiled. It was a really queer smile, all secretive and seductive, yet somehow innocent too. It made you feel like you were the only person in the world to ever get that particular smile.

 

Tipping her head she nodded to the door, and before I could tell myself that she wasn’t anything special I had my coat and was the following the swing of her hips as she led me home. 

Reviews

[Delilah Dunn]

WOW. Wow would be the only word I can think of at the moment, much less a title.
First off, your imagery is amazing. You describe everything in an almost scientific detail, and being a "people-watcher" myself, I completely understand. There is a special fascination, though, with people who seem to even have their own background music, and I think you SHOW us what you are seeing and feeling with an ease and eloquence that is very well spoken.
Second, and probably my favorite thing about this piece, is that it is simply raw, open, and honest. You give us details about the person you are describing that are not necessarily flattering, but they are "real" and that is what makes the difference between writing and being a writer. Thanks for yet another amazing read.

[Jim W White]

"I didn’t think mysterious people existed anymore"... I'm often convinced. The intrigue describes itself here. The way you've structured the text so that the reader is on a wavelength with the observer works well. Kinda dark & blatantly voyeuristic, but coupled with the awkwardness that is described on multiple levels. Subtle, obvious.. willfuly naive is the narrator. You paint characters well, yet never overcook it. A stranger we want but shouldn't is hot.. surely we're all lusting after a "mysterious anomaly that is Cody". Nicely done, Annalisa

[*~Imperfectly Me~*]

"Not about stupid s**t like the whether (should be weather) or what's their favorite music, stuff you expect to be talked about between two strangers" This is such a great write! I love to observe people and I felt like you made it so easy to observe what was happening and how everyone was responding. The imagery in here was amazing, you showed us what was happening and not just told us. Great Job!

[Miss Shea]

:] I like it. I do believe it's the first to catch my attention in a long time, so you've definitely gotten brownie points for captivation. And you're style is unbelievable. I love the description...the way that you can follow and relate to their thinking. Brilliant :]

Keep writing!!

This is simply amazing.

The story was written in a very simple manner, and the character was well described.

I do understand the situation (there were times I fell for that). When a person sticks inside your head, you get absorbed, and that mystery is the main seductive factor.

Your fundamentals are amazing, and very smooth.

It was easy to read, with no effort needed, from start to end, it flows really well and it was enjoyable. The story had a good positive constant, I did not find myself bored at any point.

A wonderful piece.

[bluessadmood]

I really liked this..if you ask me why..i will say you have a certain way of describing
people ,personalities,and telling about their psyche in a very exciting way ,i really just wanted to know what you are pulling up
it was a very nice read ,a lot sensual,but pulls your attention all the while ,from the first i had a feeling she was aiming at you
,i knew becuase you were excited about her too ,i think this all the time its like telepathy ,she got to your mind without knowing
these bookish people are like that,they say they have strong magnetic field and i believe that..wonderful write really ,very interesting

[Collect-Eye]

I used to know her..

irregardless, your story is quite engaging, and honest...
it flows, much like you or I would imagine her dancing.

Odd how she keeps appearing and reappearing in my life in the weirdest channels..

But I'm not ready to start combing my hair again just yet...

two thumbs up for your story

[Robert Luna]

It is always so great to get a chance to read your writing as I love your story telling abilities. You always provide such a wonderful assortment of details to bring the words to actual life. Seeing them being acted out there in front of me with the clarity I so love from your writing. You allow us as the reader to dwell in your words but also leave enough out to give our own imaginations the chance to envision a deeper story that lies there in between the words that are written. You are always such a pleasure to read and have rolling around in my head for a bit.


Great Job!!!!!

[Mr. Misanthrope]

One thing I appreciate in this fascinating read is its smooth flow, an awkward easyness while reading, but which isn't exactly simple. The descriptions you make about this mysterious girl are juicy and almost paranormal, which seems to be the only word that can fully describe a girl like this, one who changes your life at a first glance, either for the better or the worse, and reminds you that compared to her immortality and uncalled-for popularity, your life is short, too short.

Nothing else I can say about this amazing piece of work that StarLit13 hasn't already mentioned, but this is definitely going in my library.

Luke:)