Life according to me

Life according to me

A Poem by anonymous101

I'm not a freaking bad person

I may be rude to you

I may try to teach you a lesson

But I never did anything like that

I may pretend to be strong

But I'm fragile

I did many things wrong

I didn't lose the smile,

Though I broke many times

I don't have to trust people easily,
I still forget that
Some people hurt me
And I tried to hurt them recently

But now I realize that,that was stupid of me 

I was a being a fool

Not to see the people who were really there for me

When I thought I was being cool

I have now realized that,

It sucks that sometimes in life

You get turned down

It feels that you have been stabbed by a knife

And you want to leave the town

But then thats how life is

There will be many obstacles

You have to love it the way it is

© 2012 anonymous101


Author's Note

anonymous101
please tell me how is it...i want to know how my poems are!! :)

My Review

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Featured Review

Awesome! Really raw!

You could try to put more rhymes in there. Like what you have:

"I was a being a fool
Not to see the people who were really there for me
When i thought i was being cool"

Not too much, though, so you don't lose the rawness.

Also, if you'd change the place of a few lines, you'd get a more complex meaning.

You have:
"I still forget for a while
That I don't have to trust people easily
Some people hate me
And i tried to hurt them recently"

What if:
"I don't have to trust people easily
I still forget that
Some people hurt me
And i tried to hurt them recently"


Posted 7 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

anonymous101

7 Years Ago

thnxx a lot!! ^_^...i will change the lines!! u really helped me..:)



Reviews

very emotional piece, well expressed

Posted 7 Years Ago


anonymous101

7 Years Ago

thank you
NIce! At first I thought the ending would be something negative.
I love the optimism in the end. It overpowered all the negativity in the poem. (=

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

anonymous101

7 Years Ago

Tnq..:)
Sir Joe

7 Years Ago

u'r welcome,,,how bout making a review on my poems? =)
This is really well written! I can clearly see how the characters life is. Perhaps it's you. If it is, Im sorry. You are a great poet:) Just one common mistake you might want to fix is making all the i's capitalized:)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

anonymous101

7 Years Ago

ty ty...C: and i write about my feelings only...:) and i will make sure i don't repeat this mistake!.. read more
Legolas

7 Years Ago

Yay! Im glad i can help:)
Awesome! Really raw!

You could try to put more rhymes in there. Like what you have:

"I was a being a fool
Not to see the people who were really there for me
When i thought i was being cool"

Not too much, though, so you don't lose the rawness.

Also, if you'd change the place of a few lines, you'd get a more complex meaning.

You have:
"I still forget for a while
That I don't have to trust people easily
Some people hate me
And i tried to hurt them recently"

What if:
"I don't have to trust people easily
I still forget that
Some people hurt me
And i tried to hurt them recently"


Posted 7 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

anonymous101

7 Years Ago

thnxx a lot!! ^_^...i will change the lines!! u really helped me..:)

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4 Reviews
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Added on June 30, 2012
Last Updated on October 17, 2012
Tags: life, trust

Author

anonymous101
anonymous101

Guwahati, India



About
I'm jst a 14 year old and i secretly write poems when i'm sad...i just want to know if my poems are meaningful!! ^_^ more..

Writing