Dear Sir

Dear Sir

A Poem by Ari
"

This was originally part of a longer poem, and I forced it into this format. I'm not sure if it works, but it was an interesting attempt.

"

I now believe that we can,

with no compunctions,

dispense with formalities.

 

You look into the mirror

(Oh, dissolution!)

and pretend that you see god.

 

 

 

The original format of this was as follows:

 

Dear Sir, I believe we can dispense with the formalities.

You look into a mirror and pretend to see god.

 There is no need for dissolution.

© 2008 Ari


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

BRAVO
Standing ovation
Oh yes! Let alot more men of our generation read this one! HA!
Cheers,lea



Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I'm in the camp that prefers the original format, although that may be simply because it's reminiscent of Stephen Crane. That said, this version certainly requires no apologies-- the speaker states that we can "dispense with formalities", yet the tone of the piece is rather understated and formal, which is a very nice touch. It's spare, but no so much as to be incomplete. Very nice piece of writing.

Posted 15 Years Ago


This is great! I love the originality of it. The whole thing packs a wallop for such a short poem. Great job.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

actually i like your format more...waaay more. its a beautiful piece of writing in either format however...

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

to be honest, i like the original best.

it's simple and it has a sort of cool/cold/aloof grasp on the situation.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

558 Views
5 Reviews
Rating
Added on July 27, 2008
Last Updated on July 27, 2008

Author

Ari
Ari

Lexington, KY



About
I'm a fifth-year college student in Secondary English Ed, and I love writing (obviously, or I wouldn't be here). I write mostly poetry about my life, but I know that poetry isn't my strong point, so I.. more..

Writing
Time Loop Time Loop

A Poem by Ari


Lucky Strike Lucky Strike

A Poem by Ari



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Weak Weak

A Poem by Mohl083


Water Water

A Poem by Anima Inspired