Truth and Consequences

Some things are better left unsaid best locked in your heart there saved The pain you harbor in your chest is your own, to take to the grave

Life seems a never ending dream

filled with hopelessness and despair

Where we are put to trial everyday

while suffering is everywhere

 

To friends who think they come up short

through transgressions against a mate

Who feel they should confess their sins

then sit back and accept their fate

 

Some things are better left unsaid

best locked in your heart there to save

The pain you harbor in your chest

is your own, to take to the grave

 

Confessing sins to a loved one

while it serves to ease guilt in you

Transfers your pain to the other

who is blameless for what you do

 

Shame is the thing that hurts the most

it teaches us valuable things

Such as what not to do next time

you are hurt and the telephone rings

 

Author's Note

I have given this much thought. Many friends over the years have asked me if they should confess to their lovers. I have come to see it is a selfish act. While most religions and 12 step programs say confess as the Catholics do. I say no. You are crushing the innocent partners soul with your confession. Sometimes it's better to take responsibility for your actions. Live with the pain of what you did. It will help guide you next time. When one laments the wrongs of their life it creates these pains. They are called the conscience. So live with them. And try to be better next time. I have made many mistakes and I shall atone for them in the end. I did these things myself and it is not for others to suffer the consequences. I am glad I will take my own transgressions with me. After all I am responsible for what I do as is everyone. I have spent many years trying to reconcile with myself. I am not saying I did anything truly awful. However I let myself down more than a few times in my youth.

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Tate,

Are you getting better as a writer?! It seems to me that your more recent writes greatly surpass what I've read of you in years past. Now know that I have always thought your poetry to be beautiful from a raw passion sense, and that full continues, but your recent skill in language is so wonderful.

Now in this piece, while I really love the poem, I read the "Author's Note" first, and I found the words to be profound. You and I agree wholeheartedly on this and I didn't think that any other really understood this. But you do. I am gratified. This is profound wisdom, Tate. I don't think I have any serious transgressions either--but you never know what might be serious to a loved one. Nonetheless, swallow it. Don't cause grief. Protect your loved ones. If they don't need to know and the knowledge would cause them pain, swallow it. Don't be selfish. Keep quiet and give them a hug instead. Now I'm not advocating lying or going behind a loved one's back. That is pure selfishness as well, and not in the best interests of family. No, I'm talking about protecting the ones you love, not pulling the wool over their eyes. I'm talking about being an adult and making well thought out and generous decisions. I'm talking about withholding unnecessary pain as you are as well.

Beautiful sentiments as always. I get this one and so fully agree.

Best regards,

Rick

[SallyDM]

Assuage your own guilt and hurt another or let it fester inside you and hope you have learned from your mistakes and don't repeat them. This is a difficult choice for me. I really enjoyed your poem, it's thought provoking and a debate most of us will have with ourselves at some point in our lives.

[Tate Morgan]

It was a thought that to me seemed self evident to assuage ones guilt by laying it at the door of To assuage ones guilt by laying it upon the injured is no more a duty than it is a right. I say if one needs repentance find it within themselves or find a priest lol Thank you

[Tate Morgan]

It is that pain inside yourself that will make us not do it again I know a girl who does this all the time she then confesses on herself to gain forgiveness Once freed of the guilt she does it again lol

[SallyDM]

Lol well that's not me but I do have my secrets not many and nothing really awful but I am often tempted to confess I am not good at keeping feelings inside. But of course I do not wish to cause pain to others. Is it a question of right or wrong? Which counts more admitting our mistakes (sins) and accepting the consequence or saving a loved one or friend from the pain of our truth. I simply don't know.

[Tate Morgan]

I do It is to keep them to yourself It is a simply matter to figure this one out Since we committed them we deserve the pain of them The other is blameless and would be injured by our confessions Best to let dead dogs lie

[SallyDM]

You've definitely given me something to think about, so thank you.

[Tate Morgan]

It isnt supposed to be easy for us to take We simply need to learn from mistakes that there are consequences to our transgressions the fact that you feel bad means you have a conscience.That is a good thing it will remind you to not repeat them The inner voice remembers the pain associates it with the act ands stops you from doing it again If you were to tell on yourself you would be burdened with the empathetic pain for the other for the pain you caused them to feel It is worse and it ends marriages

[Tate Morgan]

As side from that this would injure a mans pride and that is what makes a man a man he will not get over it nor forget it

[SallyDM]

I hear you ...

[SPINNING ON that dizzy ..]

Nice capture. Hard to say what is the right thing to do. Right for whom is a good point? Does bearing the truth get a whole set of possibilities out there. Whys and why would you and why did you and will it happen again and what do I change and can we go back.... Being true is easier :)

[Tate Morgan]

It is ultimately better if unhappy to leave the other before starting a relationship with someone else.But we all know most dont do that they trade one for the other or try to keep them both. Fallibility is most a human trait. It is in my opinion wrong to tell the other you have injured them Just to gain their forgiveness for you guilt.Thank you

[Michael G. Smith]

Great topic. A life lesson some of us have to learn from experience. We have to really determine if the confession is more or less constructive or destructive.

[Tate Morgan]

This is a lesson we learn from life that should follow us and remind us of why it wrong thanks Michael

[nancy.sedky]

This is a master piece tate :) i love it more than i can
Ever say,how did you put it like that ?!!
But don't you think that a loved one shouldn't be
Fooled?! And he/she has to know and see the whole picture ?!!

[Tate Morgan]

hi Nancy well I do not believe it is good to tell on yourself if you want to save your marriage it is better to keep this transgression to yourself It would be very detrimental and totally unfair to confess this to your partner.if you did this and felt the need to0 confess i would suggest a holy man leave the partner alone This is not a good thing to admit to. It only ruins a marriage.the poem is about the unfairness of the act of confessing to the person you then injure with your confession in order to gain forgiveness from the person by giving them your pain totally unfair

[Stella Armour]

i have read this poem before in your latest book Tate, so when i saw it here i felt i must comment and say what wise advice this is.... to stop and think before you speak or to not speak at all....

[Relic]

I pretty much agree with your views on this one Tate. By confessing, your basically compounding the problem. What starts out as a single wound can expand making things even worse than they are. As long as we can learn from the situation and not repeat it, the matter can end as a lesson and not a scar between friends that will never go away. What's wrong is wrong.

Your use of rhyme in this poem is exceptional. it flows effortlessly. I learned something from this. Thanks for sharing. I think it's important.

[Tate Morgan]

Thank you Relic as i said in the authors note i know a woman who religiously employs this idea to free herself of her guilt devastating her partners in the name of honesty lol

[Relic]

Haha, you're welcome Tate.

[SyberRose]

I have often thought the same thing Tate...why transfer your guilt to make yourself feel better and make someone else feel the pain...enjoyed reading as always...Rose:)

[Tate Morgan]

thank you very much

[Veronica Chandler]

This beautiful piece has deep wisdom which I believe needed the voice you gave it in this write. I agree that to try to clear our own consciousness at the expense of the other person is just plain selfish. In the end our conscious is never really fully cleared for we do judge ourselves till the very end and all that has been accomplished in the telling is to crush the spirit of another. Take it to the grave is good advice and I would only add, don't do anything you wouldn't want done to you!
Brilliant!

[Tate Morgan]

Thank you I gave this lots of thought

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

I learned something from this, Tate. I always confess to my friends. You are right...if I have done wrong, I must suffer the consequences..not them.
Thank you for sharing this amazing piece.

[Tate Morgan]

I have a friend who has suffered for years all because she likes the new car smell so to speak. She likes the new of a relationship.So she cheats on them all after a short while. Then proceeds to tell on herself. Her boyfriends themn forgive her or leave her But she feels relieved and then does it again because she is freed from the shame the minute she is forgiven.