I keep looking

This is my first try; I normally don't write like this but I decided to experiment a bit. Give me your honest opinion.

I look through the glass everyday,

through the broken shards...

I look as the day eventually fades

and nightfall cascades,

I look as the birds circle and fly away

I keep looking.

I look through the glass everyday,

till those who care have no more to say.

I look as winter envelopes the roads,

as summer bades goodbye,

and dark turns the sky,

I keep looking.

I look through the glass everyday,

as those who arrive, return in dismay.

I look as the leaves fall,

as trees shed their tears,

I look as dear autumn is finally here,

I keep looking.

I look through the glass everyday,

as the nightfall creatures come out to play

I look as they come out of habitats,

I look as they wiggle and dance in the rays.

I look as the heat finally arrives,

as summer returns, I keep looking

I keep looking.

Reviews

[JB Murray]

Like someone forever reaching... hoping... dreaming... good write. Enjoyed it, thank you!

[An owl on the moon]

Your gazing reflections transport us beautifully over seasons and sighs... nights and days of the world's wonders. Sung with that intimate feel of a careful observer.

[mroz]

It's extremely well worded and the scene you describe is vivid and it is clearly visible in my mind. I'm kinda in a trance along with your narrator who is caught looking through the glass, and keeps on looking. I kinda perceive it as a very sad cycle of life for your narrator. I kind of want to see what your narrator sees next, perhaps things would have changed a little bit, but I'm positive this is a great place to stop. It leaves you lingering... leaves you wanting more. Well done!

[Zack Burton]

Excellent use of refrain here - I definitely like the epic style. You've captured the sense that this a long, neverending story, and the seasons theme is definitely a plus.

I really enjoyed the imagery in this write. You have so much detail in this and it comes through so smooth. Enjoyable read.

[Tim]

I like the idea of contemplation it suggests, as though life is passing by but the speaker is still searching. Perhaps for herself. I like it.

[freelancejouster]

the images and emotions portrayed here are so... it's a simple kind of power isn't it? one that just lazes along without exclamation points and it feels so honest that the lies i tell normally feel guilty on my skin. they sizzle there and glob together like bacon grease after it cools. and you're still looking.

[GTVile]

Ooh, mysterious. I agree with Jim, that you effectively use repetition (sometimes overused or incorrectly used) and I think that it adds a lot. You didn't force-rhyme so that always helps, too. Good job.

[Jim Parson]

I like this. The repetition works and you have a very smooth delivery. The pacing has a nice flow and I enjoyed the imagery. You created some excellent visuals. I'm not a poet and have no clue about the technical aspects of poetry, but when I'm reading a poem, if it rhymes, I like to be able to follow the rhyme scheme. I'm not saying that poetry has to rhyme, just if it does, I like consistency. But that's from a non-poet.

[Loner]

Beautifully portrayed i must say!
this piece shows a long wait somewhere hidden in I KEEP LOOKING awesome write!
Keep it up.