Still Here

You were supposed to be my protector

You were supposed to keep me safe

You were supposed to always love me

You were supposed to care about me

 

Why did you hurt me like that then

How come you didn’t use someone else

What did I do to deserve this

How did you become the one I needed protecting from

 

I was only a little girl back then

I was innocent and scared

I didn’t know what to do or how to react

Pain became a part of my  daily life

 

I didn’t know what you were really doing

My mind only knew that daddy was hurting me

You told me to keep it between you and me

Each time you were done you always say love you

 

I’d lay still on my bed tears falling quietly

The pain made it impossible to sleep at night

Blood feel from my body after each time

Nightmares constantly filled my dreams

 

I didn’t have anywhere to hide from you

If I pulled away you’d hit me

Mommy and you started to fight all the time

I became your personal tool

 

Some days you wouldn’t let me eat for resisting

Mommy didn’t care she was too busy

Eventually you left and I thought I was free

But I had to visit you on weekends

 

You scared me too much to tell her no

Tears started falling every time I was alone

You got really mean and rougher

You made sure I knew you didn’t love me

 

The pain reached points to where I couldn’t move

Bruises covered my body while blood fell from it

There was no way to escape this hell

Each day I’d put on a faker smile

 

I’d spend hours trying to feel clean again

Nothing worked I only felt very dirty

You almost got what you wanted

Why were you doing this to me

 

I was basically dead and didn’t care at points

People found out but nothing happened to you

But you weren’t going to win this war

Someone saved me and became my protector

 

I have won the war for the most part

I am here living no thanks to you

But I’ve become who I am ‘cause of you

I am still here no thanks to you

Reviews

[Amila Jay]

Wow, Excellent write.

[al25]

This is a really well written poem with lots of real emotions. Anyway I am sorry you had to go through something like this. :)

[x]

love how you mixed up the colours here, gave it a happy sad feel at the same time.

[futurepast.]

This poem holds such depth of sadness and pain.
I hope you have got over it, though I know it is very hard.
And I salute the courage in you.
This is a beautifully sad poem.
Well done.

[Crinkle°]

wow so intensely written, oh s**t, what can I say? Nobody can be indifferent and I'm so happy that you are now safe. What a courage to write it, my dear.

[Morning Star]

Very very sad deep emotions this must have taken all your strength to write
Written with a quill heart of an innocent child
These problems often occurred
But it’s most painful when it is a father or a mother
They are suppose to protect you
Then when it happens within family the child
is afraid to speak to the other a parent
Since they are afraid they will not
believe them or accused of
lying, in many cases the other family members
Chose to ignore what’s in front of their eyes
In many cases they don’t want anyone to know and
The child is the one who suffers
In the old days people would just hide the truth
And lock it in the closet
Very deep write painful and so sad
I hope everyone who is going through something
Like this or has lived through it will reads this poem
I believe it could help many
Wishing you Peace Love and Light

[kewlbluetiger]

It took a ton of courage to write this, and you did it so boldly and elegantly. Great work.

[David W Moore III]

Wow, thanks for sharing with us. I know that must be hard. Keep going. I find that putting it on paper helps to exorcise it a little.

[Taylor H.]

Im so sorry about this. My mom has a friend who this happened to their daughter. Im once again so sorry about this. I hope he rots in hell

[Poetry Girl]

this was very sad. i seriously thought i was going to cry. i could practically feel the tears. this subject is very touchy and personal. this is an amazing poem and im going to favorite it because its that good. im sorry you had to go through that (if its true for you, so poems are written for other people so i dont know) but im glad you finaly found your true protector. truly amazing