Our Last Summer

Our Last Summer

A Chapter by Luna

Walking down the beach,
Hands touching,
Feet coated in golden sand,
The sunset turning the ocean shades of red,
Orange,
Yellow,
Your eyes the color of the sea shining.
Everyday we would do this,
Walk down the beach,
Wishing the summer will never end,
My thin, white dress blowing against my body,
My blue bikini straps showing.
The striped blanket laid out in the cove,
The rocks surrounding the tide pool,
Alienating us from the surrounding world,
Supplying us with our own personal beach.
Your muscular arms wrapped around my waist,
Your lips bruising mine with your fervent kisses.
Every day goes by,
Memories implanted in my mind
As we lay in the sand,
The sun bleaching our hair.

The last day comes,
The waves crash on the beach differently.
Our last walk,
Hands together as if it will never end.
Our last embrace,
The embrace of a lover who will be seen again soon,
Kisses as deep as ever.
You explain this is the last time,
You are leaving,
You turn your back to me,
You leave me behind,
Walking up the beach alone.
Walking home
Where your girlfriend waits.


© 2010 Luna


Author's Note

Luna
Was inspired by a song.

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Reviews

I could visualize this whole scenario in my mind and felt the warm sun as I read this! the imagery was great. I felt sad over the ending as well but goodbys are never easy, especially when you know they are final! I love the poem but the flow was a little off. if you could have just rhymed the words a little it would have flowed better. but overall it was a great poem!

Posted 9 Years Ago


This is great, I really like these kinds of poems. Now the only thing bothering me, why in the world would he leave?

Posted 9 Years Ago


aw.. i love it, and the last part was really sad, and i was assuming that it was less tragic. but anyways, it's awesome! what song was it inspired anyway? just curious.. :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


an amazing poem :) the ending to me was sad and the best bit :) i enjoyed this well done

Posted 9 Years Ago


Aweeee, the ending is so sad!!! :'( makes me feel bad for the narrator. Well written, DEFINITELY a BIG surprise at the end! And that's what makes this piece excellent! 100/100!!

Posted 9 Years Ago


It's a very strong poem there wasn't one moment I didn't feel the full impact of the words. Amazing job!

Posted 9 Years Ago


wow i really enjoyed this piece..honestly I wasnt prepared for how it ended so it was surprising which is always nice when you think u know where a piece of writing is headed and it takes a totally different direction. good write :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


This was a very well writen and interesting poem. Hmm.. it makes me think how someone could do that to the one they love. I know I could never live with myself, but who can control their emotions? Well written and well done=)

Posted 9 Years Ago


A beautiful and kind poem. The description of the beach, ocean and summer love was very good. Nothing better then to be young, unafraid and a long summer day.
Coyote

Posted 9 Years Ago


Dear Ms. Luna,

First of all, I thank you for sending the read request. Secondly, to dive into this work. Though you have a strong message and wonderful feeling behind the words. This poem just could not flow for me. A poem has to be written with both the heart and the mind otherwise it is ineffective to its reader. Do not feel as if I am tearing apart your work, but hopefully and potentially edifying you. This work has a lot of good descriptive words to compliment and a good train of though but it is more of lacking in keeping the eye without breaking. I feel like you need to add more in between, "Our last embrace," and "And you leave me behind." It just seems like there's more to this than just a simple waltzing away. You have a lot of heart in this, just structure your heart and sharpen it like a sword: it will prove more effective to your reader in the long while. Again, thank you for the read request. 9/10.

Sincerely,
S. W. Scaggs

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 9 Years Ago



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Added on January 20, 2010
Last Updated on February 1, 2010
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Author

Luna
Luna

Civil War Capital, VA



About
I am a helpless romantic who also loves to attempt to write romance adventure (my novel Maiden Voyage for example) but I tend to try to stick more to poetry. I am southern (yes, I do have an accent) a.. more..

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