Our Last Summer

Our Last Summer

A Chapter by Luna

Walking down the beach,
Hands touching,
Feet coated in golden sand,
The sunset turning the ocean shades of red,
Orange,
Yellow,
Your eyes the color of the sea shining.
Everyday we would do this,
Walk down the beach,
Wishing the summer will never end,
My thin, white dress blowing against my body,
My blue bikini straps showing.
The striped blanket laid out in the cove,
The rocks surrounding the tide pool,
Alienating us from the surrounding world,
Supplying us with our own personal beach.
Your muscular arms wrapped around my waist,
Your lips bruising mine with your fervent kisses.
Every day goes by,
Memories implanted in my mind
As we lay in the sand,
The sun bleaching our hair.

The last day comes,
The waves crash on the beach differently.
Our last walk,
Hands together as if it will never end.
Our last embrace,
The embrace of a lover who will be seen again soon,
Kisses as deep as ever.
You explain this is the last time,
You are leaving,
You turn your back to me,
You leave me behind,
Walking up the beach alone.
Walking home
Where your girlfriend waits.


© 2010 Luna


Author's Note

Luna
Was inspired by a song.

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Reviews

i liked this piece very much ..very deep and filled with great imagery... curious on what song inspired this beautiful write... overall great job on this one!!!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago


well wasn't this something out of a movie? very cute and precious moments you've described. This was very nicely written but could have been a bit more descriptive, try fiddling with the art of imagery...i think you'll find it to your liking!
thanks for sharing!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago


this poem is an easy read - it flows quite effortlessly and the reader doesn't really have to struggle with following it. This is mainly due to your frequent use of imagery "thin dress blowing against my body/bikini strap showing". Nice use of details, very "concrete", and slightly erotic. However, you have other lines that are not as specific and too general, "The beauty of the sunset over the ocean" - HOW did the sunset look? This is the golden-rule of "show don't tell". A little more description, by way of metaphor, analogy, simile, etc would do wonders for such lines.

I would also like you to end it on "where your girlfriend waits" - it would be more...traumatic and convey that sense of fleeting...



This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago


I don't really like the ending, but I guess no one really likes sad endings! Wonderful images were flooding my brain during this...I thought I was watching it on T.V...

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago


You create a wonderful picture with your words. The ending was unexpected but makes an impact. You have to let go of what wasn't really yours to begin with. You have the summer to hold on to the memory when the person is no longer there with you. Nicely done. It made me long for the warmer days to walk the beach in the sun. =)

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago


I like this and the feelings you have presented here. It's very well expressed and very well written.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago


sometimes we just need a pause button for life. great write!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago


It's almost like I can see these two people walking down the beach in my mind and that's what I love about this poem. I also love that you describe her memories with such detail like this walk on the beach happened yesterday. Very, very beautiful.


P.S. Send me more Read Requests, I'd love to read more of your wonderful writing.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago


More than words..memories. On paper sits a remembrance of all human emotions lived out in a few months; the sandcastle is washed away as the tide rises later in season; reaching the bit-further shoreline on which the sand-made building sits, washing it away in longevity for what it is. Memories. Great piece!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago


very nice, great deatil i could see the two of them walking on the beach. the dress blowing in the wind. wonderful job!!!!!!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago



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Added on January 20, 2010
Last Updated on February 1, 2010
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Author

Luna
Luna

Civil War Capital, VA



About
I am a helpless romantic who also loves to attempt to write romance adventure (my novel Maiden Voyage for example) but I tend to try to stick more to poetry. I am southern (yes, I do have an accent) a.. more..

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