Our Last Summer

Walking down the beach,
Hands touching,
Feet covered in sand,
The sunset turning the ocean shades of red,
Orange,
Yellow,
Your eyes the color of the sea shining.
Everyday we would do this,
Walk down the beach,
Wishing for the summer to never end,
My thin dress blowing against my body,
My bikini straps showing.
The striped blanket laid out in the cove,
Your arm wrapped around my waist.
Every day goes by,
Memories implanted in my mind
As we lay in the sand,
The sun bleaching our hair.

Our last walk,
Our last embrace,
And you leave me behind,
Walking up the beach alone,
Walking home
Where your girlfriend waits.

Reviews

[G. Marie"floating on an..]

I could visualize this whole scenario in my mind and felt the warm sun as I read this! the imagery was great. I felt sad over the ending as well but goodbys are never easy, especially when you know they are final! I love the poem but the flow was a little off. if you could have just rhymed the words a little it would have flowed better. but overall it was a great poem!

[Moyo]

This is great, I really like these kinds of poems. Now the only thing bothering me, why in the world would he leave?

[alison13]

aw.. i love it, and the last part was really sad, and i was assuming that it was less tragic. but anyways, it's awesome! what song was it inspired anyway? just curious.. :)

[there is no more from m..]

an amazing poem :) the ending to me was sad and the best bit :) i enjoyed this well done

[Alz Alz]

Aweeee, the ending is so sad!!! :'( makes me feel bad for the narrator. Well written, DEFINITELY a BIG surprise at the end! And that's what makes this piece excellent! 100/100!!

[Hopelessly Confused]

It's a very strong poem there wasn't one moment I didn't feel the full impact of the words. Amazing job!

[Jillian Alexis]

wow i really enjoyed this piece..honestly I wasnt prepared for how it ended so it was surprising which is always nice when you think u know where a piece of writing is headed and it takes a totally different direction. good write :)

[*Evelen*]

This was a very well writen and interesting poem. Hmm.. it makes me think how someone could do that to the one they love. I know I could never live with myself, but who can control their emotions? Well written and well done=)

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful and kind poem. The description of the beach, ocean and summer love was very good. Nothing better then to be young, unafraid and a long summer day.
Coyote

[Stephen Scaggs]

Dear Ms. Luna,

First of all, I thank you for sending the read request. Secondly, to dive into this work. Though you have a strong message and wonderful feeling behind the words. This poem just could not flow for me. A poem has to be written with both the heart and the mind otherwise it is ineffective to its reader. Do not feel as if I am tearing apart your work, but hopefully and potentially edifying you. This work has a lot of good descriptive words to compliment and a good train of though but it is more of lacking in keeping the eye without breaking. I feel like you need to add more in between, "Our last embrace," and "And you leave me behind." It just seems like there's more to this than just a simple waltzing away. You have a lot of heart in this, just structure your heart and sharpen it like a sword: it will prove more effective to your reader in the long while. Again, thank you for the read request. 9/10.

Sincerely,
S. W. Scaggs