Happiness is an Illusive Choice

A Story by Arun Sapre

Whether to achieve happiness is ultimately an individual choice.

Happiness is what everyone seeks, but few achieve. May be simple to define, with a wide freedom of choice, yet a mystery to all, as there is no consensus on what is happiness. It evades most, although each person tries for it. It is a mirage all run after, never able to catch it. What makes it beyond reach? In spite of being a common goal, what makes it unattainable? Is it that the actions are at cross purposes, random and disjointed to nullify each-others gains? The questions have remained unanswered so far and in all likelihood are expected to remain so forever. Like infinity, it is unreachable, but we can always try to go closer to it as the best approximation in the practical sense. Why not keep trying for it, keeping the hope alive? Everyone tries it to the best possible level of approximation.

Happiness is essentially a state of mind. The psychological impact of the happenings around influence setting of the personal targets. If the targets are modest and achievable, one may succeed and be happy. If there is no regret of not being ambitious, the person is most likely to be happy. The problem arises for the ambitious ones. Keeping high targets and not being able to achieve them is the main source of unhappiness. In a way, ambitious ones are likely to miss happiness more than those modest ones. We observe this in our normal life. Average achievers, simple persons are living a happy life. They have least hassles, no anxiety, minimum botheration, are needs driven, caring and sharing type. Not being loaded with unnecessary wants and excesses, they live a relaxed life. Observing this, many so called achievers, when find no excitement with achievements, tend to shift towards simplicity. These diverse states of mind do give confusing signals. It only shows that happiness is a psychological state that is not fully understood and defined. Shirt of a happy person or formula of happiness is just not known and definitely not available, off the shelf.

Attitude has a strong bearing on happiness. This has much to do with how one deals with others. One has a choice of being friendly, cooperative, respectful, helpful, snobbish, adversarial, indifferent, cynical, dismissive etc. Similarly, attitude towards the job taken in hand is a matter of choice. One can make the job at hand interesting, boring, productive, useless, challenging, casual or just be indifferent. As regards dealing with subjects of common interest, like lifestyle, or issues at hand, like equality, has options to choose from. Which option makes one happy is a choice for the individual. Obviously, attitude makes a choice and selects the path for happiness. Positive attitude would make a selection to enjoy the job, the company that it provides and the contribution that it makes to common good.

Every individual has a wish-list to pursue during different time spans. This could include academic career, professional targets, financial status, health, family benefits, social objectives, political ambitions, cultural interests, hobbies etc. What would bring happiness is linked to individual perception and judgement. Achievable wish-list is the right way to start with. The wish-list that exceeds the known personal capability threshold is most likely to bring disappointment. It also tests rational thinking of the person. At the same time, it does not hint at not keeping ambitions or having dreams. It only means that not fulfilling dreams should not be taken as a failure or defeat, but only as missing of irrational target. Dreams rarely come true and not fulfilling them should not be the source of unhappiness, but could be taken only as some kind of disappointment. Dreaming itself is a source of happiness and inspiration to perform, not to be discarded outright, unless absurd. Similarly, participation in competitions is not necessarily for winning, but for learning by experiencing or for enjoying participation.

If a destination/mission is set, it also demands a road-map, the intermediate steps and milestones clearly demarcated. Such planned destinations, however difficult and distant they may be, are achievable and do provide happiness, when reached. Life-long goals, institution building, execution of big projects, scholarly creations, research outputs, artistic creations, sports achievements, big adventures, social contributions, dedicated work output etc are long-term missions those do bring happiness. These are tough choices to begin with, testing shear dogged perseverance in implementation, confidence and patience. These destinations are indicative of dedication, focus, application of mind, planning, coordination and execution. A tough job well done is always psychologically rewarding and brings enough satisfaction. It is a creative activity and naturally brings happiness. Participants in historical missions, like Landing on Moon, do find happiness even if personal contribution may be miniscule.

Setting objectives and working for them is the most difficult task. If the objectives are proper and well defined, the job becomes simpler, hurdles get minimised and the confidence level is higher. Methods to achieve the objectives are also crucial and should match the needs of the task and need to be selected consciously. Wrong, mischievous and unsuitable methods would miss the target, bring embarrassment and would only lead to unhappiness. For happiness, not only task but also method has to be proper. For example, if environment is to be protected, then green methods need to be adopted including environmentally sound technologies. If health of the people is to be improved, nutrition and hygiene have to be improved, a promotive method. If quality of any service is to be improved, then quality of human resource and related tools have to be improved, the skill development. So, both objectives and methods are important for any achievement and getting happiness out of it.

Means to an end has an ethical connotation. Here achieving target by any means is not expected. Ethics need to be kept in mind to ensure peace and happiness. The choice of the target and the means to achieve it is with the individual. Means like breaking rules, frauds, corruption, cheating, extortion etc are unjustifiable in any format of activity. Civilised societies do not accept such means and that is why they remain high on happiness index. Such role model needs to be the core objective of any society and its individuals.

So happiness is a choice. Will the success by any means make one happy? Not likely, in most cases. Except for a hard core criminal mind, wrong means would remain a bug in any mind, snatching away the desired happiness from reaching the destination. Targets achieved with positive, ethical, clean, straight and common interest methods provides the royal path to long term happiness. It is not known whether luxury or modesty, power or freedom, fame or anonymity, knowledge or ignorance, smart or unassuming, competing or witnessing, creating or critiquing, doing or advising and so on brings happiness. Depending on the individual it could go either way. Happy go lucky type characters may keep happiness as the way of life with modest expectations, remaining relaxed forever. Studious and serious types may have achievements to their credit but remain tense forever with worries of bigger performance, and keep looking out for stress-busting minion activity/hobby for a change. Wise ones may look for work satisfaction and not for success story. There is no clear answer. We are back to square one, a cyclical journey. Like infinity we could be so near and yet so far simultaneously. Search for happiness continues in simpler tasks, like playing with kids or mixing with commoners.