Shooting Star

A twinkle in the sky caught my eye

and it reminded me of you.

Sweet and surprising like a gift

that held a love so true.

 

It fell from the heavens

and in that second

it showed me how much you're worth.

It took away my very breath

and flashed towards the earth.

Reviews

[Patrick Henry]

What happened after it came to Earth to meet you?! It's really hard sometimes to read you and not wish to reach in and find out that you are real. A pain I feel is that one day you will not be answering these comments or visiting here. I've lost too many friends and in too many ways... The first stanza is this adorable insight into where your mind is in the moment and you are seen as this selfless girl with the prettiest of hearts, and best of intentions, Ashlyn. If you were given a night to let it all go and run free in safest of arms, I think you'd find bliss in doing so, and I wish I could do that for you!! The second stanza felt a little more NOT personal because of the word "it". Using "it" to describe this moment that had peace and surrendering written all over it, left me to wonder the "why" in where you were leaving me with this poem. It's almost like dropping a date off and just to hear that you might see this person tomorrow makes all the difference, if only even with a short phone call. : ) I really liked that you centered it. Beautiful, Ashlyn.....

[tedefroberts]

A piece written in the "classic" way; hard to find anything wrong with a romantic rhyming structure! I like it...it is refreshing.